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Thursday, June 30, 2011

Twas the blog before middle age.......

Hey everyone. Yes, it is true; I will be 40 tomorrow. I'm really not sure what that is supposed to mean or how I am supposed to feel but it's here and there is nothing I can do about it. Truth be told, I'm excited about the next chapter in my life.

Age is a weird thing. These last few weeks I have been pondering what it means to be 40. Have I accomplished what I was "supposed" to?  Do I "look" 40? You know--I was just being all philosophical and such. The bottom line is--age ain't nothin but a number. Someone recently asked me how old I would be if I didn't know my age--my response was 8. I'm young at heart and I'm proud of everything that has brought me to this stage in my life.

To me, success can only be measured in one way. If one can answer yes to any of these questions, then he/she is successful. Do you like your life? Do you laugh a lot? Do you feel grateful? Do you have people that love you? Are you still learning? I am so lucky because I can actually answer yes to all of these questions. We all live different lives and choose different paths--success cannot be measured by jobs, finances, family, or fame. It's about character and having an open heart and mind. Though I have made many mistakes in my life, I still feel accomplished and am proud of the life that I have lived and the lessons I have learned thus far.

There were so many things I wanted to do before I turned 40--many of them I did not get around to doing. Oh well--if I am supposed to do them--I will eventually. I've done a number of things that I never thought I would or could--sometimes we think we have it all figured out but, God might have other plans. He sure did for me and for that I am grateful.

I am right where I am supposed to be at age 40. I've accomplished a lot but still have a lot of ground to cover. That's alright with me--I've always enjoyed adventures.
Here are some cool things that I did in my first 40 years:
learned to play an instrument, starred in a musical, made a varsity team, traveled the country, recorded a cd, got paid to eat in New York, performed at the laugh factory, won a comedy competition, earned graduate degrees, bought a home, found a partner that has loved me unconditionally for 13 years, met 3 Presidents, published some research, went to the academy awards, won awards for my teaching, lived in the mountains, etc etc etc.

In my next 40 years I hope to continue doing more of the same--I want to tell stories and hope to write and publish my memoirs. I want to keep teaching, keep cooking, keep laughing, and keep learning. That should be pretty easy. I'm so grateful for all of my family, friends, and fans. I'm also grateful for those I have met along the way--even the ones that didn't turn out to be so great--it doesn't matter--I consider myself to be pretty damn lucky.

That's it for today--I realize that it's not very funny or witty--but oh well--I felt like being philosophical for a change. Deal with it. Now that I am in my 40s--expect more wit, more snark, more sarcasm, and more brilliance. One love--thanks for reading. BTW--this was me at age 3--thought you'd all enjoy the pic.

Monday, June 20, 2011

Bolsa Chica with Theresa, Tracy Morgan, and RSVP people

It has been a super long time since my last blog. I didn't have the best week last week, but life is looking better, so I decided to finally get back to posting.

Two questions: How old would you be if you didn't know your age? Can anyone give me a quick lesson on Twitter--I want to tweet and get on bored with the whole twitter thing. I just do not get it.

I recently heard about these "worms from hell." Has anyone else heard of them? The name alone truly freaks me out. I guess there are these worms that live like a mile and a half under ground. I don't know much else about them because I didn't want to read any more information--just thought I'd bring it up. Myriam claims that there are some of them under the house.

Not too much is going on. I enjoy the summer vacation but, sometimes it gets lonely and boring. It's hard to stay motivated. I'd love to find a part time job but there is not much out there. I struggle with depression (which of course is different then sadness) so I've been just working on getting through each day. I will blog this week about depression--comedians and depression--and why the hell it is so difficult to understand, fight, and live with.

Last week I spent a day at Bolsa Chica Beach with my dear friend Theresa. It was WONDERFUL. Theresa and I have ben friends for like 16 years but haven't seen each other in awhile--reconnecting with her was super amazing--we kicked it in her RV, ate cheese, drank a lot of port, and played cards--seriously, it was one of the best days ever.

I have two weeks left of being in my thirties--I feel like I should be doing something like running a marathon or climbing some huge mountain or swimming with the dolphins. Those things all take up so much energy--I think I'll just stay in Long Beach, listen to records, and create some cool panini recipes.

I recently read the book ICE by Ice T. His life is very interesting and I loved his story. His new show Ice Loves Coco is really really good. I think they have a fascinating relationship. In the ten + years that they have been together--they have only spent one night apart. They also have a wonderful dog named Spartacus. I recommend the show to everyone.

Another show that I recently came across is Storage Wars. It's kind of funny--watching these grown ass macho men competing against one another for storage units that they know nothing about. The traits of masculinity and how they are executed by these men (who by the way are nothing special--just average "American" men) are quite an entertaining. I have shopped in three of the stores that they represent which makes it even cooler.

Ok--I want to talk for a minute about Tracy Morgan. First of all, I have NEVER liked him as a comedian. I think he is an idiot. In fact, I really tried to love 30 Rock but had to give it up--because he is such an idiot. His recent anti gay rant during a performance is, in my opinion, unforgivable. Myriam disagrees. She believes that nothing is off limits where comedy is concerned and thinks that the more taboo something is--the better it is to make fun of. I do not think jokes coming from a place of privilege are funny. I argue that those jokes add to stereotypes, promote racism, homophobia, and sexism, and are just an excuse for comedians to be assholes. I have looked at the recent Tracy Morgan issue from the perspective of an academic, a queer person, and a comedian--and--guess what--all conclusions were the same. Now he wants to work with GLAAD--he's just trying to save his pathetic career--I for one will never support him or anything he is a part of again. Myriam will probably attend his next show--Oh well, love is about balance people--we agree to disagree and that is ok.

My birthday party is in a few short weeks. I am really excited. However, many of you have "ignored" the invite. If you are reading this blog and have yet to RSVP to my party with a yes, no, or a maybe--please do so. It's very simple people. Waiting for over 200 of you so let's go.

Will be performing my one person show here in Long Beach at the end of August. More info with dates and location will be coming soon. Myriam and I will both be performing at an event of July 9th. Here is the info--I'll let you know what time we will be on as soon as I know. AMP LGBTQIA is an AMAZING organization so stop by if you can--but don't miss my skate party:)

Saturday, July 9 at 5:00pm - July 10 at 1:00am

Dipiazza Restaurant & Lava Lounge
5205 East Pacific Coast Highway
Long Beach, CA

This highly anticipated annual underground "pride" alternative event celebrates the queercore music scene, LBGTQIA artist and DIY crafters. Funds raised at CPRR support the AMP Organization's annual Queer Youth Scholarship fund to encourage young queer artists and musicians. Read more about the AMP Organization here:

Check out OC Weekly's write up on CPRR #4 here:

What: 4th Annual Cut&Paste Rock&Roll queer music & DIY art festival
When: July 9th 5pm-1am
Where: Long Beach!
Who: Rockers, Rollers, Queers and friends

Not too much else is going on right now. Myriam is officially done teaching (and unemployed thanks to Arnold.) Looking forward to a super fun and super cheap summer. Have a great day everyone and thanks for reading. Comments are really appreciated.

Thursday, June 2, 2011

Moshe, Things that do not belong on pizza, bullies, and books

Hey everyone. The week has gotten away from me again. I cannot believe that it is almost Friday. It's been a great first week of vacation.

Ok--today's post is for my beautiful nephew Moshe. Moshe is a little over 4 months old and he is wonderful. He has one of the most amazing smiles that I have ever seen. He is pictured above in case you couldn't figure that out. I have gotten to skype with Moshe but have yet to meet him. Hopefully that will happen soon. He lives in Brooklyn and I love him very much.

Sun dried tomatoes DO NOT belong on pizza. I really do not understand "fancy" pizzas. Here is a list of other items that should not be allowed on pizza:
any seafood, chicken, snow peas, corn, broccoli, tofu, curry, bbq sauce, smoked gouda, chorizo, hearts of palm, seeds of any kind, and nuts

Will be performing my one person show in August and September. Found promoters and it's going to be super awesome. I will keep you all posted.

The battle in my home today was helium balloons vs ceiling fan. It was a great fight but ended in a tie.

Best mash up name for a celebrity couple= DiLively (Blake Lively and Leo DiCaprio)

The man that Jennifer Aniston is dating looks scary.

Most people do not know that Katy Perry used to be a Christian singer. Her mother is an evangelical minister who is very upset with her daughter's decision to be "worldly."

I have sent out the online invite to my birthday party. I'm really excited--it's gonna be a blast. I've rented out the whole roller rink and snack bar. That's always been a dream of mine so i'm glad it's coming true. I'm looking for suggestions for songs for the mix cd. What songs remind you of me? Come on--you know you want to contribute to the mix cd. I'll be wearing my new bow tie to the event.

Got my haircut today just like Demetri Martins. It looks good if I do say so myself.

The other day I saw two boys picking on another young boy. I pulled my car over, got out, and told them to stop picking on the boy. They seemed annoyed and one even said the infamous words "you're not my mom." I tried to remain calm telling them that it was not ok to pick on people and asked them how they would feel if someone treated them that way. Their response was--people always pick on us--then they started to cry. So there I was, with three young boys who were all crying, and I had no idea what to do. I chatted with them for a while, and long story short--it all ended well. The mother of the youngest boy came out, thanked me, and invited the other boys in for ice cream. Maybe they will all be friends now--I hope so. I know the story sounds like a John Waters movie on the Hallmark Channel but that's ok. If you ever see someone being bullied--you must try to stop it. There is nothing special about what I did--it just seemed like the right thing to do. No one deserves to be tormented. Stop the hate before it's too late.  "Those who stand for nothing fall for anything." Alexander Hamilton

So far I love East of Eden. The book Heat is highly overrated. Sidhartha by Hesse is brilliant. I'm enjoying this week of reading. Now my friend Jamie needs to catch up on East of Eden. We are a two person book club and one of us is behind:) She left today for a whole month. Have fun in Michigan JW. See you when I'm 40:)

This weekend is going to be fun. Roller Derby, birdwatching, a birthday party, and probably a whole bunch of other cool things.

Ok that's it for today. Thanks for reading. Comments are awesome. One love.

"Live in a way where you would not be ashamed to sell your parrot to the town gossip." Will Rogers

 "We have enough youth. What we need is a fountain of smart."