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Monday, March 26, 2012

Betty White, snakes, and NO E

Hey everyone. Thanks for checking in. All is well here in the LBC.

I have a huge dilemma. Betty White (the person I'd most like to meet and my comedic inspiration) is dedicating the new reptile exhibit at the L.A. Zoo. For those of you who do not know, I am terrified of snakes. When I say terrified, I mean that if I see a snake--I will most likely pass out. I have been invited to the dedication, but I am afraid that if I go--I'll die of fright and Betty White will think I am insane. Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated.

So I have decided to do something big that is on my "bucket list." On June 8th (the birthday of my amazing cousin Jackie), I will be attending EDC.....Electric Daisy Carnival. For those of you who do not know, this is a rave. Well, it's not just a rave, it's one of the largest raves in the world. Last year, the Vegas EDC had 240,000 people attend in just three days. I'm really excited about going with two of my best girls, Kimberly and Leila. I am also excited about experiencing this epic event. FYI--I WILL NOT BE TAKING DRUGS. Homie don't play with E--no joke.

Please make sure that you are following our (mine and Bridget's) documentary blog @ Stuff is moving along and we start filming this Friday. Our fundraising page will be up in one week. Please watch for it.

I can't really think of much else for today. Myriam told me a joke this morning that was pretty cool so I'll close with that. What happens to a ghost that wanders into the fog? He is mist.........

Goodnight everyone. Deuces. Love you all. TJ

Thursday, March 22, 2012

Tiny superstars, PAPA O, and style to watch out for.......

Sup blog readers? This has been a great week. Things with the documentary are really starting to take shape. PLEASE check out the documentary blog at if you want to keep up with what's going on. Bridget and I appreciate your support.

Things with my comedy are going pretty well. I have a big show next Friday in West Hollywood, one at The Westside Bar in Grill in Costa Mesa on Wednesday, and I will be at both The Comedy Store and The Imrov next month. I'll keep you all posted with tix, showtimes, locations, etc....

I'm gonna switch gears for a minute. My dearest friend Suzie and her amazing family, who I love very much need any and all higher power shout outs that you can give. Papa O is sick and we all need to send him good energy and love. He is such an amazing man and I want him to get well soon. Let me just tell you a little bit about him. Papa O is retired, but was a Psychiatrist in the prison system for many years. He is a tiny Turkish man who has a genuine love for hardcore gangsta rap, dirty jokes, and large women. Papa O collects pictures of sheep, enjoys playing angry birds, and can tell stories in a way that makes magic seem real. He is a very giving man who accepts people for who they are. I once had a small party and Papa O showed up. It was him and 10 lesbians.......we went bowling and it was one of the greatest nights of my life. I love you Papa O.

Ok--Myriam FINALLY got her allergy tests done and the results are in. She will be having nose surgery and beginning immunotherapy very soon. She is such a trooper. Hopefully, in a months time--she will be all better and can proceed with life. Myriam will be reading here in Long Beach on Friday, April 6th at the Art Theater. This is a must see performance. Oh--and Dorothy Allison and Michelle Tea will be there too. It'll be an epic evening. The coolest thing about it though is that I get to cook dinner for all of them before the show. Yes, it's true and I seriously could not be more excited.

Ghettopolitan purchase of the day: Wetzel  dog and a naked juice.

Ok--that's it for today. Myriam just turned on Top Model and I have to leave the room. I cannot add one more thing to my life and I can easily get hooked on Top Model. BTW--I did hire a stylist so I'll be rockin some sweet new styles soon. Think Blaine from Glee meets gangsta rap meets (clearing throat and a bit disgusted) an indie rock hipster.

Thanks for reading. PLEASE check out tinysuperstars and send some love. Peace out. TJ

Sunday, March 18, 2012

Steven Martin, best milkshake ever (besides my milkshake cuz my milkshake brings ALL the boys), and doc update

Hey blog readers. Thanks for checking in. Today's blog is dedicated to Steven Martin. Steven is a former student, a dear friend, and a premiere fashionista and stylist. He is celebrated by me on multiple levels and I love him very much.

Through the years, he and I have shared a lot. We cried together after the death of our friend Sam Herr, we shouted at one-another when discussing Sarah Palin (because he loves her and I think she's insane), we skated together at my 40th birthday bash, we pondered religion on multiple levels, we had out tea leaves read by an amazing Turkish woman, and most importantly--we shared amazing food at roscoes chicken and waffles. Steven, you say I inspire you and have helped you find yourself--well DITTO! You sir are taking NYC by storm and I couldn't be more proud. Well done, boo. Here is Steven's website. You should all check it out.

Ok--so this week I tried a few new foods and restaurants, and here is the breakdown:

The new Dorito shell at Taco Bell is brilliant. It's not as messy as it sounds and it is delicious. I love it and no more really needs to be said. Yes, I know that Taco Bell is disgusting and yes, I know how bad the food is for me, but guess what people--I love it and am not ashamed. You should all try it.

If anyone is ever in the San Diego area you must and I mean MUST try The Corvette Diner. I went to this place last week and had the best milkshake of my life. The burger was pretty amazing too--in fact--the burger was one of the best I've ever had. I think Drake wrote a song about it. The decor is fabulous and the waitstaff is fun. Um....also, you can have a huge tray of freshly made cotton candy brought to your table. I'm going to go there as often as I possibly can

Lester's fixins is a novelty soda company and here is a heads up about their soda--IT'S DISGUSTING. I truly believe it could and should be used as a form of torture. Do not buy this soda--not even the peanut butter and jelly flavor. I would rather do ALL of the following than taste any of these sodas ever again: listen to Rush Limbaugh for a straight week, vote for Rick Santorum, take a class with Pat Kearney, eat sweet potatoes covered in cilantro, and wear a dress. There ya go.

So--the documentary is going well. It's one of those projects that is both exciting and exhausting at the same time. It would be a lot easier if I could only think about it every once in a while, but it is all consuming for me. It's like a combination of being in paradise and in hell at the same time--sheer terror covered in rainbows. That's how comedy is though--and my life for that matter. Stay tuned on how you can be involved in this amazing project. We have some cool gifts for your support. I'll keep you posted.

I'm working hard on my summer show which of course will be taking place in IOWA on June 29th and 30th. More details like ticket info will be posted as soon as I know them.

I have tons of shows coming up both in LA and The OC--so make sure to check my FB page if you wanna see a show. I'm also working on booking some other summer shows throughout the country so watch out for that stuff too cuz I know I have fans all over the place.

I finally jumped on The Hunger Games bandwagon---um--yeah--it's pretty epic. I LOVED the first book. I read it in three hours and simply cannot wait for Jamie to give me the second one next week.

I miss Glee and cannot wait for it to return. There are so many Glee haters out there which makes me super sad. I truly think it's the greatest show to ever be on TV and if I had one wish I would want to guest star on the show and do a song/dance with Brittana. They would both adore me--I already know.

Myriam will be reading in Long Beach on April 6th with Sister Spit. You should all come out for this epic moment. Dorothy Allison is touring with them this year, and she is my WT inspiration--so I get to watch two of my s/heroes read in one night.

Both Rhianna and Chris Brown need less attention.

I am on a mission to find a banjo.

Ok--that's it for today. Thanks for reading and for all of your support. One love. Deuces!

Tuesday, March 13, 2012

4 Months Later, What Now, and That's it

It's been over 4 months since my last post--guess I better get back on track with my blog.  Here is what's been going on:
Had a great Thanksgiving--best "redo" ever for me and Myriam
Had an amazing Christmas
Had a pretty good New Years--except I celebrated it ECS (East Coast Style) and went to bed at 9:01 PST. M and I both got the flu while we were vacationing in San Francisco
Performed 3 shows at The Irvine Improv--each one was EPIC!
Performed a show at The Laugh Factory--was on the same bill as Wendy Ho--nothing more needs to be said.
Performed about thirty other shows with other comics--not as epic but still fun
Performed 2 sold out one person shows--those worked out well but are quite hard to do.
Left OCC, Chapman, and CSULB--I am only working at one school and this is my last semester.
Went to Big Bear for the first time. Myriam OD'd on antihistamines but she's ok.
My nephew Moshe turned one and my nephew Connor turned 14.
Myriam got ANOTHER pink slip--she is sick of being an educational booty call.
My mom came for a visit--we had a really nice time. The weather was perfect for her.
I got my one year chip--that was pretty sweet.
I officially fully recovered from my mid life crisis though sometimes I feel like I'm starting another. Is that possible?

Ok--now you are up to speed with my life--here is what's going on now:
I'm currently working on a comedy show that I will perform in IOWA on the eve of my 41st birthday. It's pretty intense, but I'm having fun doing it. Looks like my show is going to sell out both nights--400 tickets total so that's something to be proud of. People from my past like classmates, former teachers, and others are actually planning their summer vacation around my show. Yeah--no pressure.

The show itself is a big deal--but you know me--big isn't enough--I have to go a few steps beyond big, so I'm also working on a documentary about the show. I'm working with Bridget Najoir who is brilliant. She's pretty badass and super legit. I have found that being vulnerable on this level is pretty difficult and very emotionally taxing. It will totally be worth it though, and following thru on this project with Bridget will only bring good things to us both. She is in for a helluva ride though--ha.

Ok--well that's it for today. Just wanted to catch you all up. Please watch for info about the documentary on your FB or in your email. Also--if you are in IOWA and want to come to the show on June 29th or June 30th--keep your eyes open for updates about tickets. I know it's hard to leave comments on this blog page, so please message or call me with any questions. I hope you've enjoyed my post and I look forward to blogging again very soon.