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Wednesday, April 18, 2012

The last few days and I'm too tired to finish

Thank you for checking in to Ghettopolitan. I appreciate the love!

The last few days have been off the hook. Here is what's up:

1. Had a show tonight. It was awesome. Small crowd + big laughs= success.
2. B returned from Coachella and rocked it on For those of you who do not know--I am in a documentary and Bridget is the filmmaker. You should totally follow that blog.
3. Our kickstarter page is up AND we made 21% of our total goal in 1 frickin day. That's right y'all.
4. GLEE was on. I haven't seen it because I just got home. Tomorrow morning I plan on eating a huge bowl of lucky charms/captain crunch (yes, together) and watching it. Cannot wait.
5. My Irvine Improv show is 6 days away and my guest list is at 245 people--which is half of the whole frickin venue. CHECK IT!!
6. Myriam watched Mean Girls like 8 times this week. She was also a guest blogger on tinysuperstars and she was brilliant.
7. I was both admonished and punished by my student Dominic for eating fast food.
8. I had to call 911 and was put on hold--e'erthing is ok though--no worries.

OMG--I just realized that I am so tired. I seriously cannot come up with one more thing to say. Here are a few links to check out. ANY support for the film is awesome. I know that money is tight right now--hell, I don't have any which is why we need to raise it. Do NOT worry if you cannot contribute financially to our project. If you can--that is awesome. We DO need to reach our goal, but if you cannot--there are a million other things you can do. Follow the link below to email Ellen and tell her all about how awesome I am, vote for New Hartford to receive funding for an orchard, email to say hi, watch the kickstarter video AND post it to your own fb page. Here are the links with an excerpt from Bridget's latest post

A LOT of you have been asking how you can help TJ.  Here are two links you should check out:

How perfect is TJ for the Ellen show?  We think so, too.  So let's start writing some emails and get her on the show!  This link takes you right to the form.  Easy peasy.

As some of you know, TJ is from New Hartford, Iowa, which was devastated by an F5 tornado in 2008.  We will be going back to New Hartford as part of the documentary.  Follow this link below to vote for New Hartford FEMA Lot Restoration Committee.  Edy's will plant an orchard in the winning city and New Hartford is already in SECOND place.  Let's make this happen for them!

HERE is the kickstarter link:

I will post more tomorrow evening. Full day coming up with meetings, teaching, and a trip to SKY HIGH for trampoline fun. Have a great night. Thanks for reading. TJ

Monday, April 16, 2012

Gangsta live stream, Devon, and the letter p

Hey blog readers. Thanks for checkin in. All is well in the world of TJ.

My cousin Blaine is coming for a visit this week. We are gonna tear Cali up and I cannot wait.

Special shout out to my nephew Devon. Today is his 12th birthday. He's awesome and I love him very much.

I wish there were more poems about cheese.

The two books that I have chosen to read this week are: Unorthodox by Deborah Feldman and The Pocket Guide to Brilliance by Bart King. I'll let you know on Sunday how they were.

Let's see--what else is going on with me? I am still the subject of a documentary which is really ccol. Check out that blog at

Ok so last night I watched the live stream of Snoop and Dre at Coachella. I loved it. Not only did they perform some of my favorite old skool songs, they also welcomed a plethora of guests including Wiz Khalifa (who is fine BTW), my boi Eminem (who was clearly skipping on stage), and Tupac. Yes, they had a hologram of Tupac on the stage and it was seriously one of the coolest things I have ever seen. I have to admit--not only did I get chills--I was also moved to tears. Don't judge me. Just let me have my moments. They also did an amazing Nate Dogg tribute and smoked the biggest blunts EVER. Some of you might be saying that I forgot 50 cent. I didn't--I just don't like him so I decided to just keep him out of the awesomeness. All in all--it was worth staying up late for. Maybe in a few years when they come back to Coachella--I'll be on the stage with em. You never know. lol

I think Maya Rudolph is totally underrated. She might just be the sexiest and funniest person on the planet. (Of course I actually mean the third sexiest and funniest because Myriam and I already claimed the first two spots)

Did you all know that in 1980 Detroit gave Saddam Hussein a key to the city?

I wonder if anyone has ever been killed by a good luck charm? We have a horseshoe hanging on our wall. I've often thought that if it fell off and hit someone in the head--it could do some serious damage.

Ok--that's all I have for today. I'll leave you with a quick list of awesome things that bring me joy. Oh-- today they will all start with the letter P.
1. Porch swings
2. Potato salad ON sandwiches
3. Pink (both the color and the singer) Yes, I like Pink--I've reclaimed the color.
4. Pick Up Stix (wonton Wednesdays especially)
5. Pest control logos
6. Puffy paint
7. Peanuts (specifically the comic strip)
8. Pot brownies
9. Polka dots
10. Play Doh

Oh--and here is a video that will blow your mind. Seriously--watch this chick rap--it's magical.

Karmin Performs 'Look at Me Now'

Hope you all have a great day. Thanks for the love. TJ

Friday, April 13, 2012

The good and bad of today, tinysuperstars, next week, and the letter b

Hey everyone. Thanks for the love. This is going to be a quick post because I am exhausted.

All is well here though it was a day of ups and downs for me. Great podcast this morning, great blog response on tinysuperstars, and Myriam came back from visiting her family. On the flip side--I'm feeling very defeated right now in a number of ways, this rain str8 up sucks, and I am feeling extremely sensitive--not the best combo.

Don't forget to check out Please leave us comments and questions so we can keep writing everyday. This documentary is quite the project. I've never felt so connected AND disconnected to something at the same time and it's driving me a lil bit bonkers. It'll be ok though--just finding balance which is something I have to do on a daily basis.

Next week is so crazy. I'm trying Hot Yoga on Monday, I have a show on Tuesday in Hollywood, Wednesday, my Speech 5 class is going to Sky High--which is a trampoline extravaganza (not a marijuana bar), Thursday I'm kickin it with my friend Wendy Ho then I'm going to a drag show, Friday is a podcast, a photoshoot, and my cousin Blaine is coming into town. I love being busy and I love doing cool things. I'll also be teaching that week, meeting up with Bridget (the film maker), and blogging e'er day.

I really need to go to bed soon so I'll leave you with a few lists brought to you by the letter B
Things I like that start with B
1. Banjos and Bluegrass
2. Black men
3. Budweiser
4. Bacon
5. Big Bootie B*******
6. Beanies
7. Baby animals (except snakes)
8. Boots (specifically rain, cowboy, and badass)
9. But I'm a Cheerleader (The Movie)
10. Brittana

Things I do not like that start with B
1. Bieber
2. Beets
3. Banana flavored candy
4. Board sports (surf, skate, wake, body, snow, etc)
5. Balls (specifically truck and men's)
6. Bicyclists
7. Bobby Brown
8. Bloody movies
9. Bread Bowls
10. Beck

That's it for today. I appreciate your support. TJ

Wednesday, April 11, 2012

It's really ok y'all.......B Naj won't bite

Hey everyone. This is gonna be a quick post. First off--thanks for the love. Your constant support overwhelms me on a daily basis. With that said, I need to give a quick lil talk to y'all about the movie.

As much as I'd like to--I simply CANNOT respond to everyone's emails, fb messages, texts, etc regarding the film. Yes--I am the subject of a documentary and yes--that is totally cool. But here is the deal--it is NOT my movie. Bridget Najour is the film maker and she is in charge of all the logistics. I just show up when I'm told.

Though I am working very closely (too closely for her comfort--lol) with Bridget, I don't get to pick and choose the who, what, where, when, how, and why of things. So many of you start your emails with--I know I'm supposed to contact Bridget but.......    This has to stop. I know that you don't KNOW Bridget and I know how protective some of you are but that is all part of the fun. If I can let go a little--then so can you. B has it all figured out and if you really want to be interviewed or involved in some way--she will make it happen. I trust her completely, and I need you all to do the same. Both B and I need this process to run smoothly--please help us do that. This goes for the IOWA peeps and the Cali peeps and anyone in between.

For the record--I think it's amazing how many of y'all want to be a part of this--now each of you just needs to leave your comfort zone and contact B Naj. She's away this week but she WILL get back to you. I promise. Like I said before--I trust her! I would never lie to y'all or lead u off the path. Thank you thank you thank you!!

Bridget can be reached at You should also follow the blog at tinysuperstars.blogspot,com.

That's it for today--Thanks everyone. I got nothin but love and respect for each and every one of you!! TJ

Tuesday, April 10, 2012

Glee, doc info, the sadness of leaving the classroom, and fifteen random things I noticed this week.

Hey followers of GHETTOPOLITAN. Thanks for checking in.

I trust that you all watched Glee? I was super stoked to finally have it back--but it wasn't my favorite episode. WHERE WERE BRITTANY AND SANTANA? Oh--and Quinn and Artie singing "I'm Still Standing" in wheelchairs. It's that whole "limitless" thing that annoys me. They never got solos or duets--now that they are both in wheelchairs--they get to sing. I don't think so. Although NENE LEAKES+ SUE SYLVESTER= PERFECTION and Artie's tractor sweater was pretty rad. Either way--I'm glad it's back.

I have a few cool things coming up. I'll be on Duke Fightmaster's podcast on April 20th. We record it this Friday. Go to ITUNES and subscribe--it's free.  On Tuesday, April 24th I will be performing at the Irvine Improv. Please let me know if you still need tickets. I'll put you on my guest list. Bridget and Scott will also be there filming for the documentary. If you would like to be interviewed for this amazing project--PLEASE email Don't miss out. Friends, former and current students, and family are all invited to participate. Also--don't forget to check out the documentary blog at This film is a pretty big deal so I really need and appreciate your support.

Pizza Hut is trying a new product. It's a hot dog stuffed crust pizza. That might just be the most ridiculously amazing thing in the world. I will never eat one--because I have a little bit of self respect but if I am ever on death row or I know I'm about to die--that will be my last meal.

I only have about five weeks left of teaching and that makes me super sad. I will really miss being in the classroom. Some people ask me why I don't just do both--meaning teach and do comedy. The answer to that is this: in order to make a living as a comedian/storyteller/all around badass.....I am going to need to travel a bit. Teaching takes up a lot of time and energy and even though I love it--I need to be focused on one thing for awhile. It's the right decision--now I just need to make it work. Y'all better come to my shows and stuff.

Let's see--what else is going on. Myriam is visiting her family this week in Santa maria so I have the house to myself. Party information will be sent out soon. LOL. I'm just gonna hang out with some friends and do some writing. I do have a photo shoot on Friday. I'm REALLY excited about that. I'll post the pics as soon as I get them.

Ok--I feel like this post is kind of boring so I'll leave you with some interesting headlines, quotes, and observations that I've come across this week.
1. There are now cheese flavored animal crackers and they are delicious
2. A recent study was done regarding the movie Titanic and more than 50% of the people interviewed did NOT know it was a real ship. That scares me.
3. "Truck balls" are the most ridiculous thing ever made. If you do not know what I am talking about--please look them up.
4. About half of the good ol U.S.A. is pissed right now because their next President will be either black or Mormon. I still think Judge Judy would do an amazing job.
5. Ice cream really is amazing.
6. A person can never own too many sweater vests
7. There has never been a better time than now to make someone's day better.
8. Broccoli stinks
9. Do poppy seeds even have a flavor or are they just put in things. Do they serve a positive purpose at all?
10. If you dance e'er day--your life will be awesome.
11. The group fun. reminds me of The Muppets.
12. The fact that Elton John and Flava Flav are in a commercial together is a sure sign that the world is about to end.
13. Tap dancers are totally underrated
14. The sloth is the cutest animal ever. BTW--the autotune version of Kristin Bell's sloth meltdown might be the coolest thing ever.
15. Anyone and I mean anyone who makes comments on yahoo after reading the stories needs to seriously get a life.

That's it for today y'all. Thanks for the love. Right back atcha.

Bow ties and teardrops!! Gayngsta


Monday, April 9, 2012

logos vs pathos, the return of glee, S,K,&M, and 10 things I want

Hey ghettopolitan readers. Thanks for the love. All is well in the LBC.

I'm sure you all already know this but I am the subject of a documentary and it's really exciting. Bridget (the film maker) and I have a blog about our moviemaking adventures so please check it out at Quick shout out to Bridget who will be going to Coachella in a few days--have fun and be safe.

The documentary is going pretty well. The only thing that has been really difficult is that Bridget and I are friends and so--we are trying to find a good evenness between personal and professional. It's tricky. For one--B is very logical--she's practical and keeps emotions out of things. Ha--for me I thrive on emotions and just assume the logistics will fall into place. Another tricky thing has been that it is hard for me to view my life as a project while Bridget finds it hard to view a project as her life--so we are getting it figured out on a daily basis. We are taking a break this week from the film so hopefully after B's vacation and my whatever--we can just get right back into all that amazing madness. I'm an intense person--I sure everyone can vouch for that and sometimes that can be a bit much for people to take--we are getting it though-----and I'm still certain that she is the one who is supposed to be doing this project.

I have officially found a lil balance after two intense weeks of life. I feel like March and April have been a str8 up roller coaster ride and someone forget to tell me to buckle up. I'm just gonna chill a lot this week and get back on track physically, mentally, spiritually, and emotionally. Myriam is going up to Santa Maria for the week so I can watch as many episodes of Golden Girls as I want. That's right. GLEE is also FINALLY returning tomorrow too--so that's like the best thing ever.

I'm working on a stage persona right now. I think performers need some way to differentiate who they are on stage and who they are in real life. I think that is the only way to truly stay sane. Mine is gayngsta (gay gangsta) and I'm having a really great time with it so far. Having some photos taken this week with that persona. I'm callin it Bowties, graffiti, and teardrops. Should be pretty epic.

I only have six weeks left of teaching. I am really really going to miss it and truly hope that I have made the correct decision to leave. I've had about 2,000 students in the past 6 years and I can honestly say that I remember almost each and every one. Tons of them have remained in touch and I'm sure more will continue to do that. Today I took my public speaking class for ice cream. It was an amazing day. It's one of those days that I know they will never forget.

Quick request if I could. Three of my dearest and closest friends are going through some serious stuff right now. One is battling cancer, one is dealing with her father's terminal illness, and one is beginning the divorce process. I will call them K, S, and M to protect their anonymity. Please send love, higher power shout outs, reiki, and good energy their way. Please and thank you! I love them all very very much and am hopeful that they can find true peace during these difficult times.

Ok--so I love the New Dr Pepper commercial. I mean I seriously love it. It makes me want to drink their soda.

I got a "sponsor" to give their clothes for my shows and for the documentary and I'm super stoked. It's a clothing line that I frickin love and can't afford--so this is a real blessing. You'll see pictures soon. If anyone has any hook ups for sweet mens clothes--hit me up--and we will talk. Trying to be stylish is super expensive. I'm a baller on a budget so any donations would be AWESOME!!

10 things I'd like to have before the end of the year
1. A Banjolele
2. The Igot5onit shirt from Threadless (size small)
3. The New Muppet Movie
4. Beats by Dre
5. Tatoo
6. 10 PAID comedy gigs
7. Some cool suspenders
8. An appearance on TV
9. ABS
10. 3 new pair of ballin kicks

I don't think that's too much to ask for.

That's all I have for today. I'll post again on Wedesday. I appreciate all of your support. I really do.
Deuces and one love. Teej

Saturday, April 7, 2012

The brilliance of Myriam and meeting Dorothy Allison

Thanks for continuing to read GHETTOPOLITAN. I recently reached 21,000 hits which is astounding to me. I really do appreciate your support.

So a lot has been going on with me. In case you haven't heard, I am the subject of a documentary which I think is totally cool. Please check out and follow the documentary blog @ One of us (meaning Bridget, the film maker or the one and only TJ) tries to post everyday so you can follow our adventures on a regular basis.

I am happy to report that even though there were a few bumps in the road--today was seriously one of the greatest days of my life. Not only did my beautiful wife BRING DOWN THE HOUSE with her amazing performance at the Art Theatre, I also got to meet and spend some time with Dorothy Allison.

Myriam, my partner of nearly 14 years, is an amazing writer/storyteller/badass. Her most recent book "Wish You Were Me" is a book of short stories, one liners, and inappropriate comments. She also wrote the award winning novella "Dahlia Season" and is currently working on yet another masterpiece. Tonight Myriam gave her finest performance to date and literally had the entire Art Theatre enjoying the ride that is her inappropriate journey. They frickin loved her, and she lit up the stage in a way I can only hope to someday do. I'm so proud of you Myriam. You inspire me every single day.

Dorothy Allison (for those that do not know) is the greatest queer writer of all time. Raised southern white trash--she speaks to my soul. Her book "Bastard out of Carolina" just had its 20th anniversary. I know exactly where I was when I read it in 1992. I had just "come out" for the second time (long story) and I remember knowing that I would eventually be ok with myself as long as I did the following: fought hard, stayed true to who I was, and shared my story. I realize that my posts usually are not this serious or sappy or inspirational or whatever but I'm in the moment now so y'all should just deal with it. As I am writing this post--I am genuinely filled with both sheer joy and pained sadness. I can only smile and cry as I talk about how much Dorothy's books have changed my life--and well--getting to meet and spend some time with her AND having her give me a shout out on stage while reading my favorite book is just about the coolest thing that has ever happened to me.

Here is a list of her books. I believe everyone needs at least a little Dorothy Allison in their lives. If you want a book but cannot afford it---let me know and I will buy it for you. That is how much I believe in her stories. My two favorite books are Trash (specifically the story entitled Gospel Song) and Two or Three Things I know For Sure (specifically every single page) 

I really don't have much else to say today. I guess I just wanted to share this night with my readers because it was unbelievably amazing. I'll leave you today with a few of my favorite lines from Two or Three Things I know for Sure. "Two are three things I know for sure, and one of them is what it means to have no loved version of your life but the one you make."  "Let me tell you a story. If I could convince myself, I can convince you. But you were not there when I began. You were not the one I was convincing. When I began there were just nightmares and need and stubborn determination," and finally, "Behind the story I tell is the one I don't. Behind the story you hear is the one I wish I could make you hear.

Thanks for reading everyone. Shout out to all my supporters who truly believe in me and who will never give up on me. Deuces!!