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Tuesday, September 27, 2011

The economy, random thoughts, and happy accidents

Greetings blog readers. Thanks for reading. Sometimes I start to blog and I'm really enjoying it--then I get a sinking feeling that what I am writing is stupid and that no one really cares so I stop. Yes, I realize that is kind of ridiculous since so many people tell me how much they love my blog. I've also come to the conclusion that I have to be my biggest fan. I write it for me--if others enjoy it--that's just a bonus. So there ya go. I now have an "accountabilabuddy" who is helping me stay on track and blog more often. She is starting a blog so we are supporting each other.  It's a pretty cool arrangement. Thanks Jamie Elise:)

Ok so the economy sucks. I read today that we, The United States of America, have the highest poverty rate of all industrialized nations. Over 46 million people are currently living below poverty level. I'm not sure what, but something needs to happen soon. I really don't have too much else to say about it--it's just super scary and very frustrating.

Just some thoughts:

Kevin Federline really needs to stop having children.  No one can argue against that statement. He just needs to stop.

There are far too many channels available on TV. It's sad that I actually have to pay extra just to be able to watch anything good. I'm thinking about just getting rid of the TV. Myriam would not be happy with that decision.

The memoir of Jane Lynch is probably the best memoir that I have ever read. It is a must read for anyone who likes any of the following: Glee, strong women, humor, queer issues, coming of age tales, and small town anecdotes. Basically, everyone should read it. Better yet, get it on AUDIBLE.COM and have her read it to you. After reading this book, I actually decided to write her a "fan letter" which is something that I haven't done in over 30 years. I think my last fan letter I wrote was to Michael J Fox in like 1982. The book is called Happy Accidents BTW and it kinda changed my life.

My friend Jamie recently got to feed elephants. It has always been a dream of hers to be close enough to touch one. I couldn't be happier for her. Doing things on your "bucket list" makes other people happy too. Way to go Jamie. I think next time she visits this place she gets to give one a bath.

The Tim Burton exhibit at the LACMA was unbelievable. The only thing that would have made it better is if they had more PEE WEE's BIG ADVENTURE stuff. That is Myriam's favorite movie.

Ghettopolitan moment of the week: I was in Beverly Hills and ordered a crepe. It was made with canned spinach. Yes, this seriously happened.

Myriam got a job with the district. Just 8 days before we were going to lose our benefits, she received a call from Wilson. The job is perfect for her--12-6 independent study. She still gets to write in the morning and there is no prep needed. YAY Myriam.

FYI--falling coconuts kill more people per year than sharks. Tis safer to surf than it is to hang out under a tree. Hmmm

Two of my newest heros: Bill Cunningham (photographer) and Dot Jones (Glee). You should look them up.

The new Tony Bennett Duets album is really good.

Goldie Hawn is 65 years old.

Ok--here is what is going on with my comedy. I have two shows coming up. I will be performing at the Irvine Improv on Tuesday, October 18th. I get a 15 minute spot during the 8:00 show AND another 15 minute spot during the 10:00 show. I will also be performing my latest one-person show "No Flash Required," my trashy chic take on whiteness on Wednesday, October 19th at 8:00 at DiPiazzas in Long Beach. I'm going to post the flyer for that show as soon as I get it--should be in the next couple of days.

Got my 9 month chip. I'm proud of my progress and wish only good things for others.

Ok--that's it for today.  Life is good. Looking forward to the upcoming holidays and trips. We are going to San Francisco in two weeks. I cannot wait. We really need a nice weekend away.

Thanks for reading. Love you all.

Thursday, September 8, 2011

The heat, money, and a free salad for my anniversary

It is sooooooo hot. I always tell people who live in Southern California not to complain about the weather. We have amazing weather compared to the rest of the Country. That is something that I understand as well as appreciate. However--this heatwave is too much to deal with. I'd like some crisp fall air right about now. I'd like a nice cool rainstorm. I'd like a slurpee. Someone should bring me one immediately. Hopefully things will cool down soon. I guess the power is out beginning just a few miles south of here all the way to northern frickin Mexico. SIGH.

Why isn't there a magazine devoted JUST to trivia? There needs to be one. Mental Floss comes pretty close but I'd like to see pages and pages of trivia questions all in one magazine--no pictures--well, maybe just a few cool pictures. It just sounds so wonderful. I wish I had the wherewithal to make one but sadly, I do not. I might make like a zine type one or a chapbook. My God, the possibilities are endless. ENDLESS.

Sometimes I feel guilty when I get to enjoy the finer things in life such as massages, fine food, etc. It's funny though because once the massage begins or the fancy meal arrives, I lose all guilt and vow to become super wealthy so that I can enjoy these things  EVERYDAY. It's such a battle. Truth be told--I'd really like to have a lot of money. Yes, I know that money cannot buy happiness but it sure as hell helps.  I hate hate hate being broke. We of course are not in any danger of losing our home or cars or anything--it just sucks--I just want to be able to order amazing food instead of dollar menu items, to drive wherever I'd like instead of worrying about the price of gas, to shop at Barney's instead of Ross, to buy Myriam pretty jewelry and dresses instead of telling her we cannot afford them. Damn this crazy war. SIGH. BTW--I'm looking for part time work so if anyone hears about anything--please let me know.

On a brighter note--I received a coupon today from Souplantation. They sent Me and Myriam an anniversary card with a free meal voucher inside. I'm looking forward to our anniversary soup/salad. I am also looking forward to the next several years with Myriam. We have been together for 13 years now--it's awesome. The lyrics from the song "Lucky" by Jason Mraz pretty much some up how I feel. "Lucky to be in love with my best friend, lucky to have been where I have been, lucky to be comin' home again." Here is the latest pic of us:
YES--I know we look amazing. That what love does:)




Jacob Johnson: you are an amazing young man. I hope you know how much your smile adds to this world. Thank you for being a real life Spongebob. He is one of my heros. BTW--you have an awesome mom too:) Here is Jacob:




I have a show coming up next month and am taking story requests. If anyone has any stories of mine that he/she love OR if you have a fun memory of or with me--let me know. I'll include it in the show. After watching the DVD of my first show--I've decided to polish some stuff before selling it, so I'll be selling a dvd of the October show. Although the first show was AMAZING--it's not polished enough for me to put it out there so y'all will have to wait just a short time more. Here is the deal of the century though: If you donate $15 or more to my friend Thais's cause you will receive a dvd, cd of the show soundtrack, chapbook, and a really good feeling. Here is the link: My Fundraising Page. Just tell me you sent a donation and I will send out your stuff before the day of her big race:) It's a win-win for everyone.

I just finished the book "Bossy Pants" by Tina Fey. It's brilliant. BRILLIANT.  Now I am reading "Bedwetter" by Sarah Silverman--so far so good.

Does anyone watch America's Got Talent? Here are 3 of the 4 finalists all of which have AMAZING life stories. I cannot decide who I want to win. One was once homeless, the pop band is made up of all foster children, and the Silhouettes are all kids with serious medical issues such as diabetes, blindness, and cystic fibrosis. You couldn't write shit like this. Please watch--you'll be inspired. It's ok to cry--I did:)









Ok everyone. That's it for today. Thanks for reading. Hope you enjoyed this post. Trying to blog more regularly--just want to make sure that people are reading so please leave comments or "like" me on FB. We all wanna be liked. Love to all.

p.s. My brother and sister-in-law just got a pygmy goat. I cannot wait to meet her.

Tuesday, September 6, 2011

My Show, Big and Sexy, and What is this 9/11 thing people keep talking about?

Been trying to blog since last week, but time just got away from me. It has been a crazy couple of weeks. I started back at both schools AND I performed my one-person show. Life is good.

I'll start off by telling you all about my show.  Above is a pic of me performing. It was truly an amazing night. In a nutshell, here is how it went: No seats left--the place was packed. Several friends came out to support me; it was awesome. I've been performing for nearly three decades and can honestly say that this night was the most exhilarating/terrifying of my life. Show didn't go quite as planned, but I have no regrets. Sometimes we just have to let go and enjoy the ride. Everyone seemed to really enjoy themselves which is good of course. The next day was crazy. My emotions were all over the place--it was kind of funny actually. I've been working really hard on my next show which takes place on Wed, October 19th.  Some of the same stories, different format, new material, and much much more.

Just got back from an awesome visit with Myriam's family in Santa Maria. We had a blast except for the part when both Myriam and I got sick from rotten coffee creamer served to us at Pea Soup Anderson's. It really pissed me off.

School is going well so far. I really love teaching, I just wish I had about five more classes--that would be soooooo wonderful. I do have a great group of students this semester and am looking forward to the next 15 weeks with them. Got some crazy things planned.

Happy Birthday to my dear friend Jamie Wiles. I heart you Jamie.

I LOVE the show Big Sexy--it's quite entertaining as well as insightful. I recommend it to everyone.
Then there is the show Toddlers and Tiaras. WTF?  That show literally made me sick to my stomach.

All is well at the Huberg/Gurba house. Myriam still hasn't found a job but--we'll get by. Life is too short to worry about petty things like bills and food. Fuck it.

Vajazzle. If you don't know what that is--look it up--it's kinda weird/kinda fabulous.

I'm looking forward to September 12th. All of this pomp and circumstance surrounding the 9/11 anniversary is ridiculous. BTW--I will not "pause and reflect" at 8:43 or whenever we are supposed to. I'm just so tired of it being in my face every minute of every day. I'm more concerned with what is happening RIGHT NOW in our country--not what happened 10 years ago. Please do not be offended. 9/11 just did not affect me directly so I cannot pretend like I even care. I would like to say thanks to everyone in the military though. I will always pause and reflect for you.

What will the last name of Jay Z and Beyonce's baby be? That question just blew your mind didn't it?

Two cool true stories in the news this week: A woman was fishing in Minnesota and caught an artificial leg. After a few calls, she was able to track down the owner--who lost the leg three years ago while swimming in that very lake. They met at a local Wal-Mart so the leg could be returned to it's rightful owner. Ok--second story--an attempted bank robbery was foiled when angry customers yelled at a man for cutting in line. The "cutter" was of course, the bank robber. He drew so much attention by running to the front of the line that he of course could not go through with the robbery.

Ok--that's it for today. Thanks for reading.