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Monday, October 31, 2011

My thoughts on Halloween, Old School Top 40, and the letter r

Hey blog readers. Happy Halloween. As many of you know, I am not a fan of Halloween.  Here are some possible reasons why I dislike this day:

1. I get scared really easily so I rarely partake in any of the "spooky festivities" I even cried at the haunted house created by my church where Jesus walks thru with you. What can I say--I was a strange child and I'm a strange adult. I tried to go to the Zombie walk last week in Long Beach--the Zombies looked so real that I freaked out and went home.

2. I am not a big fan of candy, and it seems like a lot of work for a few pieces of free chocolate.

3. I grew up in Iowa so we could never wear really cool costumes simply because we had to wear heavy coats, scarves, hats, mittens, etc over them. SIGH

4. Going to Halloween parties where alcohol is served is CRAZY. Getting drunk and not being able to see peoples' faces is just asking for trouble.

5. SO many people think Halloween gives them a license to be racist, sexist, etc. I get frustrated when I see costumes that perpetuate stereotypes. I understand that it's the one day of the year where people get to go crazy and become whatever/whoever they want to. That's fine. I wish I could relax a little but it is very difficult for me to not see things thru an academic lens where culture is concerned. Some of my students think I'm pathetic and uptight; I like to think I am empathetic and aware. Next topic.

The other day I was scanning thru radio stations and came across an old school weekly top 40. This station was simply replaying a Casey Kasem weekly top 40 from 1986. I frickin loved it. Here I was 25 years after 1986, still driving a Mustang BTW,  being given the opportunity to relive such a great time. I only got to hear the top 10 but it was so surreal. He was talking about Cyndi Lauper as an up and comer, how Don Johnson had a smash hit (Heartbeat), and how Tina Turner was taking America by storm. My God--it was so cool. I got to hear Robert Palmer, Boston, Tina.......I so hope they do that every Saturday. Who can tell me how Casey used to end every show? Remember his quote. I'm feeling so nostalgic today.

The letter for today is R. Here are some things that I like/dislike that start with the letter R
I like:
Reese's peanut butter cups
Random acts of kindness
Recipes
Reggie Bush
Relaxing
Remixes
Rueben sandwiches
Reading
Roseanne (the show)
Rotton Tomatoes (the website)
Ron Howard

I dislike:
Reese's pieces
Reptiles
Rage Against the Machine
Ron Athey
Rotton Tomatoes (the fruit/vegetable)
Rotweilers (they scare me people)
Racism (big surprise, I know)
Rockets (not sure why)
Research (unless it's on MY terms)
Riding in the back seat
Richie Rich



Ok--that's it for today. Enjoy your day and thanks for reading.

Saturday, October 29, 2011

IMPROV, SAN FRANCISCO, and WORLD RECORD

Sup blog readers. Well, it's been over a month--oh well--I guess that just means that I have a lot to tell you. All is well with me. The semester is 2/3 over which I cannot believe. This is my last semester at OCC:( I'll miss the students and the department faculty; it's just time for me to move on. I will be teaching JUST at Saddleback next semester, and it's will be my final semester. I'll be "retiring" if you will in spring of 2012. My new classroom will be the stage. We'll see how that goes I guess. I'm looking for people to help me with promotion, online stuff, etc so if anyone wants to be part of the new comic revolution--let me know. Come on, add some spice to your life.

Let's see--it's been a busy month. I performed a small show (100 awesome peeps) at DiPiazzas--it went well. I'm working on fine tuning things for the December show. Myriam and I are writing a chapbook of stories, poems, one-liners, etc that will be available at the December 14th performance. I also performed to a huge audience at the world famous Improv. Yes I did. It was an amazing experience and I cannot wait to do it again. They want me back of course--perhaps I'll perform there again in November. I might wear the "tool shed" outfit. Only those who were at my show will get that reference. Oh well.

I have kidney stones and they suck. I'm like a walking rock collection.

Happy Birthday to my amazing brother in law AND sister in law. Yasmin and David Gurba are 31. Holla.


List of things one should never leave in a car on a hot day:
1. Half eaten chocolate bar
2. Wax from a babybel cheese snack
I'm sure there are a lot more but those are the ones that came to mind--especially since I left both of those items in my car last week.

Everyone should always carry around a sock puppet. I think it would be very healing. Just think about it and it'll make perfect sense.

I have recently discovered coconut M&Ms. They might just be one of the best sweet treats out there.

I am not a fan of Halloween--I'll be glad when it's over.

Is anyone else sick of the Conrad Murray trial? 

I need white trash ideas for Anne Geddes type photographs. If you have one, please send it my way.

Myriam and I went to San Francisco a few weeks back. We stayed with our dear friends Emily and Animal and it was a super awesome trip. We had so much fun. It had been awhile since we'd been back and it's summer in San francisco so......it was a near perfect trip. Here are some highlights: 
1. Spent $18 in one day for tolls. 
2 Had hell or high watermelon beer with Animal. It was delicious. 
3. Got to see Myriam read at The Lex--she was the Belle of the ball doing her Eazy E impression. I was honored to see her perform her latest stories. The place was so packed that people were turned away at the door. 
4. Had the BEST bacon I'd ever tasted. It was like magic. 
5. Bi-Rite ice cream. (I had salty caramel and cinnamon snickerdoodle) SIGH
6. Zachary's Pizza. 
7. Small dog beach walk with Lillie and Goldie.
8. Bookstores--
9. Took a picture in front of The White Horse Bar which is where we met 13 years ago.
10. San Quentin
11. Trying to find a kinkos in downtown SF
12. Ben Sherman shoes and pants on sale.

Long Beach is trying to break a World Record tonight. They are hoping to hold the largest Zombie walk ever. I think I'll head downtown so I can be a part of history. It would be awesome to be a part of breaking a World Record. That's it for tonight. I'll leave you with my student story of the week:

For my public speaking class everyone must inform the class on a food or beverage or the like. One student decided to do cannibalism which is odd but fine. I was actually looking forward to the speech. Last week he stayed after class to ask me if he could change his topic, I of course asked why. He said that it's because he couldn't find any recipes online and he really wanted to include recipes in his speech. WTF. Recipes.

Alright--I'm off to break a world record. Be back soon. Thanks for reading. I understand that comments are hard to post--many people have said that they have a difficult doing it so all I'll say is: thanks for reading and feel free to comment on FB. I'm learning to TWITTER too. 

Tuesday, September 27, 2011

The economy, random thoughts, and happy accidents

Greetings blog readers. Thanks for reading. Sometimes I start to blog and I'm really enjoying it--then I get a sinking feeling that what I am writing is stupid and that no one really cares so I stop. Yes, I realize that is kind of ridiculous since so many people tell me how much they love my blog. I've also come to the conclusion that I have to be my biggest fan. I write it for me--if others enjoy it--that's just a bonus. So there ya go. I now have an "accountabilabuddy" who is helping me stay on track and blog more often. She is starting a blog so we are supporting each other.  It's a pretty cool arrangement. Thanks Jamie Elise:)

Ok so the economy sucks. I read today that we, The United States of America, have the highest poverty rate of all industrialized nations. Over 46 million people are currently living below poverty level. I'm not sure what, but something needs to happen soon. I really don't have too much else to say about it--it's just super scary and very frustrating.

Just some thoughts:

Kevin Federline really needs to stop having children.  No one can argue against that statement. He just needs to stop.

There are far too many channels available on TV. It's sad that I actually have to pay extra just to be able to watch anything good. I'm thinking about just getting rid of the TV. Myriam would not be happy with that decision.

The memoir of Jane Lynch is probably the best memoir that I have ever read. It is a must read for anyone who likes any of the following: Glee, strong women, humor, queer issues, coming of age tales, and small town anecdotes. Basically, everyone should read it. Better yet, get it on AUDIBLE.COM and have her read it to you. After reading this book, I actually decided to write her a "fan letter" which is something that I haven't done in over 30 years. I think my last fan letter I wrote was to Michael J Fox in like 1982. The book is called Happy Accidents BTW and it kinda changed my life.

My friend Jamie recently got to feed elephants. It has always been a dream of hers to be close enough to touch one. I couldn't be happier for her. Doing things on your "bucket list" makes other people happy too. Way to go Jamie. I think next time she visits this place she gets to give one a bath.

The Tim Burton exhibit at the LACMA was unbelievable. The only thing that would have made it better is if they had more PEE WEE's BIG ADVENTURE stuff. That is Myriam's favorite movie.

Ghettopolitan moment of the week: I was in Beverly Hills and ordered a crepe. It was made with canned spinach. Yes, this seriously happened.

Myriam got a job with the district. Just 8 days before we were going to lose our benefits, she received a call from Wilson. The job is perfect for her--12-6 independent study. She still gets to write in the morning and there is no prep needed. YAY Myriam.

FYI--falling coconuts kill more people per year than sharks. Tis safer to surf than it is to hang out under a tree. Hmmm

Two of my newest heros: Bill Cunningham (photographer) and Dot Jones (Glee). You should look them up.

The new Tony Bennett Duets album is really good.

Goldie Hawn is 65 years old.

Ok--here is what is going on with my comedy. I have two shows coming up. I will be performing at the Irvine Improv on Tuesday, October 18th. I get a 15 minute spot during the 8:00 show AND another 15 minute spot during the 10:00 show. I will also be performing my latest one-person show "No Flash Required," my trashy chic take on whiteness on Wednesday, October 19th at 8:00 at DiPiazzas in Long Beach. I'm going to post the flyer for that show as soon as I get it--should be in the next couple of days.

Got my 9 month chip. I'm proud of my progress and wish only good things for others.

Ok--that's it for today.  Life is good. Looking forward to the upcoming holidays and trips. We are going to San Francisco in two weeks. I cannot wait. We really need a nice weekend away.

Thanks for reading. Love you all.

Thursday, September 8, 2011

The heat, money, and a free salad for my anniversary

It is sooooooo hot. I always tell people who live in Southern California not to complain about the weather. We have amazing weather compared to the rest of the Country. That is something that I understand as well as appreciate. However--this heatwave is too much to deal with. I'd like some crisp fall air right about now. I'd like a nice cool rainstorm. I'd like a slurpee. Someone should bring me one immediately. Hopefully things will cool down soon. I guess the power is out beginning just a few miles south of here all the way to northern frickin Mexico. SIGH.

Why isn't there a magazine devoted JUST to trivia? There needs to be one. Mental Floss comes pretty close but I'd like to see pages and pages of trivia questions all in one magazine--no pictures--well, maybe just a few cool pictures. It just sounds so wonderful. I wish I had the wherewithal to make one but sadly, I do not. I might make like a zine type one or a chapbook. My God, the possibilities are endless. ENDLESS.

Sometimes I feel guilty when I get to enjoy the finer things in life such as massages, fine food, etc. It's funny though because once the massage begins or the fancy meal arrives, I lose all guilt and vow to become super wealthy so that I can enjoy these things  EVERYDAY. It's such a battle. Truth be told--I'd really like to have a lot of money. Yes, I know that money cannot buy happiness but it sure as hell helps.  I hate hate hate being broke. We of course are not in any danger of losing our home or cars or anything--it just sucks--I just want to be able to order amazing food instead of dollar menu items, to drive wherever I'd like instead of worrying about the price of gas, to shop at Barney's instead of Ross, to buy Myriam pretty jewelry and dresses instead of telling her we cannot afford them. Damn this crazy war. SIGH. BTW--I'm looking for part time work so if anyone hears about anything--please let me know.

On a brighter note--I received a coupon today from Souplantation. They sent Me and Myriam an anniversary card with a free meal voucher inside. I'm looking forward to our anniversary soup/salad. I am also looking forward to the next several years with Myriam. We have been together for 13 years now--it's awesome. The lyrics from the song "Lucky" by Jason Mraz pretty much some up how I feel. "Lucky to be in love with my best friend, lucky to have been where I have been, lucky to be comin' home again." Here is the latest pic of us:
YES--I know we look amazing. That what love does:)




Jacob Johnson: you are an amazing young man. I hope you know how much your smile adds to this world. Thank you for being a real life Spongebob. He is one of my heros. BTW--you have an awesome mom too:) Here is Jacob:




I have a show coming up next month and am taking story requests. If anyone has any stories of mine that he/she love OR if you have a fun memory of or with me--let me know. I'll include it in the show. After watching the DVD of my first show--I've decided to polish some stuff before selling it, so I'll be selling a dvd of the October show. Although the first show was AMAZING--it's not polished enough for me to put it out there so y'all will have to wait just a short time more. Here is the deal of the century though: If you donate $15 or more to my friend Thais's cause you will receive a dvd, cd of the show soundtrack, chapbook, and a really good feeling. Here is the link: My Fundraising Page. Just tell me you sent a donation and I will send out your stuff before the day of her big race:) It's a win-win for everyone.

I just finished the book "Bossy Pants" by Tina Fey. It's brilliant. BRILLIANT.  Now I am reading "Bedwetter" by Sarah Silverman--so far so good.

Does anyone watch America's Got Talent? Here are 3 of the 4 finalists all of which have AMAZING life stories. I cannot decide who I want to win. One was once homeless, the pop band is made up of all foster children, and the Silhouettes are all kids with serious medical issues such as diabetes, blindness, and cystic fibrosis. You couldn't write shit like this. Please watch--you'll be inspired. It's ok to cry--I did:)









Ok everyone. That's it for today. Thanks for reading. Hope you enjoyed this post. Trying to blog more regularly--just want to make sure that people are reading so please leave comments or "like" me on FB. We all wanna be liked. Love to all.

p.s. My brother and sister-in-law just got a pygmy goat. I cannot wait to meet her.

Tuesday, September 6, 2011

My Show, Big and Sexy, and What is this 9/11 thing people keep talking about?

Been trying to blog since last week, but time just got away from me. It has been a crazy couple of weeks. I started back at both schools AND I performed my one-person show. Life is good.

I'll start off by telling you all about my show.  Above is a pic of me performing. It was truly an amazing night. In a nutshell, here is how it went: No seats left--the place was packed. Several friends came out to support me; it was awesome. I've been performing for nearly three decades and can honestly say that this night was the most exhilarating/terrifying of my life. Show didn't go quite as planned, but I have no regrets. Sometimes we just have to let go and enjoy the ride. Everyone seemed to really enjoy themselves which is good of course. The next day was crazy. My emotions were all over the place--it was kind of funny actually. I've been working really hard on my next show which takes place on Wed, October 19th.  Some of the same stories, different format, new material, and much much more.

Just got back from an awesome visit with Myriam's family in Santa Maria. We had a blast except for the part when both Myriam and I got sick from rotten coffee creamer served to us at Pea Soup Anderson's. It really pissed me off.

School is going well so far. I really love teaching, I just wish I had about five more classes--that would be soooooo wonderful. I do have a great group of students this semester and am looking forward to the next 15 weeks with them. Got some crazy things planned.

Happy Birthday to my dear friend Jamie Wiles. I heart you Jamie.

I LOVE the show Big Sexy--it's quite entertaining as well as insightful. I recommend it to everyone.
Then there is the show Toddlers and Tiaras. WTF?  That show literally made me sick to my stomach.

All is well at the Huberg/Gurba house. Myriam still hasn't found a job but--we'll get by. Life is too short to worry about petty things like bills and food. Fuck it.

Vajazzle. If you don't know what that is--look it up--it's kinda weird/kinda fabulous.

I'm looking forward to September 12th. All of this pomp and circumstance surrounding the 9/11 anniversary is ridiculous. BTW--I will not "pause and reflect" at 8:43 or whenever we are supposed to. I'm just so tired of it being in my face every minute of every day. I'm more concerned with what is happening RIGHT NOW in our country--not what happened 10 years ago. Please do not be offended. 9/11 just did not affect me directly so I cannot pretend like I even care. I would like to say thanks to everyone in the military though. I will always pause and reflect for you.

What will the last name of Jay Z and Beyonce's baby be? That question just blew your mind didn't it?

Two cool true stories in the news this week: A woman was fishing in Minnesota and caught an artificial leg. After a few calls, she was able to track down the owner--who lost the leg three years ago while swimming in that very lake. They met at a local Wal-Mart so the leg could be returned to it's rightful owner. Ok--second story--an attempted bank robbery was foiled when angry customers yelled at a man for cutting in line. The "cutter" was of course, the bank robber. He drew so much attention by running to the front of the line that he of course could not go through with the robbery.

Ok--that's it for today. Thanks for reading.

Monday, August 22, 2011

The young men in my life, random thoughts, and my show

Summer has flown by. I seriously cannot believe that school has already started.

The last couple of weeks have been pretty good--Myriam and I were housesitting in Old Town Tustin. It was very relaxing. We  finally got to meet our new nephew Moshe--he's a wonderful little man and we (Myrian and I) love him to pieces. Since Yazzy is looking for work out here, I have a feeling we will be spending a lot of time with Mr. Moshe. He is pictured above.

We also recently got to spend some time with little Olen Jones. We played on the slide. Olen and his mama Thais live in Georgia so we only get to see them about once a year. Here's Olen:

I received an amazing card from my cousin Blaine--it was a card of encouragement with a little pep talk. I'm not sure how he knew that I needed some encouragement, but he did, it was awesome. Blaine's the best. Love you cuz!!!

I just want to say happy "birthday" to someone who is celebrating 5 years of sobriety. Well done. I know it hasn't been easy. Just keep going one day at a time and stay true to yourself. You know who you are my friend. See, I didn't forget. Deep down, you knew I wouldn't.

I haven't blogged in awhile. There is really no reason. Sometimes motivation is a hard thing for me. I've struggled with depression for over 25 years and at times, it can be almost crippling. This surprises a lot of people--ya know, cuz I always seem so upbeat AND the fact that I am a comedian. Depression is real and it f***in sucks. It's really hard to explain because, most people don't understand what it is. It's not sadness--when you are sad--you usually know why. When you are depressed--you feel numb--and you have no idea why. Everything in your life can be going great--yet you feel numb and hopeless and everything just stops. That's depression. Well, now y'all know.

On another note, my show is in 2 days. I am really really excited. I'm also quite nervous. My comedy is all about making myself vulnerable. The definition of vulnerable is "susceptible to attack." I guess we will see what happens. It's going to be really fun. I am really proud of myself for doing this. Hope it opens some doors.  DVD's are $10. So, if you cannot make it to the show--buy one. The topics that I will be discussing include: food, turning 40, family, gender and sexuality, being a nerd, depression/mental illness, and much more. Doesn't it sound like a riot? It is.

Life is too short to hold onto anger. Just let it go people. I have and for that I am grateful.

The step-mother of my dear friend Catherine passed away this week from brain cancer. Katy was an awesome woman who lived her life to the fullest. She was a huge fan of NASCAR and Hello Kitty. I loved her energy and feistiness. Godspeed Katy. The world will miss you.

There are too many flavor choices when it comes to slurpees. 3 is plenty, 9 is ridiculous. And what in the hell is cherry cobbler? How is that a flavor?

I hate that I am just as forgettable as I am lovable.

I finally finished the book Roots. I seriously think it is one of the longest books ever. It took me longer to read Roots than it did to read The Bible.

I am so very happy for The West Memphis Three. If you have no idea what I am talking about, google them.

My friend Jamie just ran her very first 5k. She rocks. WTG JW!!

I have found that it is hard to have a bad day if you start it out with blueberry waffles.

My life is pretty awesome. I have the best partner in the world.

Michelle Bachman and Rick Perry seriously scare the hell out of me. I'm not sure what else to say. What will happen if one of them actually becomes President? Is it possible?

That's all I have for today. What do you all want me to write about? I'd love some ideas........

Hope to see you all at my show. For those of you who cannot come, I'm sure you'll be there in spirit. That means a lot. Comments are awesome. Thanks for reading.


Tuesday, July 26, 2011

Hey hey blog readers. What's going on? Today's blog is dedicated to my tiggle--(that's my nickname for Myriam)--we have called each other tiggle for nearly 12 years. She's super awesome in every single way.

Ok--life is good. My one person show is scheduled for August 24th, 2011. Because sooooo many people are interested in my performance, I am having two shows in one night. You can see me at 7 and again at 9. From what I hear, the tickets are selling pretty well so make sure to buy them in advance. I would really hate it if you came to my show and it was SOLD OUT. 50% of the proceeds are being donated to AMP Lgbtqia and the other 50% will be paying part of my September bills:)

Many of you love me so much but live very far away so, I will be making a DVD and CD of the event You can order one and I'll send it to you str8 away. DVDs of the show are $10.00. But wait, here is the BEST deal EVER: For $15.00 you will receive a DVD of the show, a soundtrack with cool music, AND my tiny book of haiku. Email me for more info. My email is: tjhubergcomedian@gmail.com and my mailing address is 1531 E Walnut Way Long Beach, CA 90813 if you'd like to send a check or money order for the DVD:) Thanks for your support.


Everything is going pretty well. M and I are in Santa Maria this week visiting her family which is always fun. Bob makes such amazing meals for us. I love it when others cook for me:) We are coming back to Long Beach on Thursday and will be stopping at the Skirball Center in LA to check out the Houdini exhibit. It's free on Thursdays.

Ok--I am really sad about Amy Winehouse, but am not at all surprised. Addiction is a very terrible thing. I just hope that she has some peace now wherever she is.

I might run the Atlanta marathon next year. My dear friend Thais (who has been Myriam's best friend since age 4) is visiting from Hotlanta and we talked about it today. Stevie--wanna run in it too? Let's take Georgia by storm.

In the last three weeks I have read 10 books that have dealt with faith one way or another. I find people's journeys to and/or from faith fascinating. Here is the list and my overall thoughts on 3 of the books. I'll blog about the other 7 tomorrow.

1. I'm Perfect, You're Doomed: Tales of a Jehovah's Witness Upbringing by Kyria Abrahams. She is pretty funny and the book does a great job of explaining that particular religion. She's kind of whiny though and you can tell that she was pretty spoiled growing up and, very used to getting her way. I like her snarky humor. B-

2. Prison Angel by Sister/Mother Antonia. Ok--I loved this book. This amazing woman has spent the last twenty-five years living in a prison in Tijuana. She grew up in Beverly Hills which makes it even more amazing to me. Her fearless drive and selfless dedication are very inspiring. I loved it. A

3. Escape by Carolyn Jessup. She left the FLDS. It was a great read. Highly recommended. If you want to know more about the FLDS--this is the book for you. A-

Recently I read an article about people buying more generic products--you know--because of the economy. I find most generic products to be just fine however, there are a few things that are worth the extra pennies. I have tried the following products in a generic form and WAS NOT HAPPY. I reccommend that you always spend a little extra when it comes to: Mac&Cheese (Kraft), Hot Dogs (Nathans or Hebrew National), Soda (always buy name brand soda--Dr Skipper for example is disgusting), Alka Seltzer (the non name brand make me throw up which completely defeats the purpose of Alka Seltzer), Tuna (just don't) , and Ice Cream.

Ok--that's it for today. We have a big day scheduled tomorrow so I am going to call it a night. Still looking for a job BTW so if anyone hears anything--let me know. Thanks for reading. Comments are always wonderful. Being 40 has been super awesome so far. Love to all.

Saturday, July 16, 2011

Best cd ever, what in the hell have I been up to, and green grass.

Forgive me readers for I have sinned, it has been two + weeks since my last entry. Ok--so much has happened in the last fourteen  + days. Lord have mercy. Here are a few pics of what has gone on.




On July 1st, I turned 40. I was really really freaked out about it but once I embraced it, it was awesome. The picture above is from my skate party. I rented a roller rink and everyone had a really great time. I am so appreciative to all of the people that came to the big event. I had hundreds of well wishers that could not attend but were there in spirit. I felt them there--but it's a good thing that I didn't have to pay admittance for each one:) The woman that runs the roller rink said that in the 30 years that she has been there, she has never seen such a diverse group of people at a birthday party. Cool. I take pride in that. If you'd like to see other pics--check out my facebook page.

On July 2nd Myriam and I had an impromptu commitment ceremony at the zoo. We have been together for almost 13 years and figured it was about time we had SOMETHING. We plan on having a big party to celebrate this occasion. I will keep you all posted. We had a small private event for a number of reasons: 1. We are cheap. 2. well, there really isn't any other reason:). All kidding aside--we had a rough year. During my midlife crisis I actually left thinking that the grass would be greener somewhere else. HA. I was an idiot but that is a whole different Oprah. Here is what I learned about greener grass: 1. If the grass looks greener somewhere else--chances are--you just need to work on your own yard to beautify it. 2. If the grass somewhere else is indeed greener--chances are--a lot of fertilizer (SHIT) was used to get it that way and NOBODY needs more shit in his/her life. Myriam is an amazing person--she has loved me unconditionally for over a decade. All I know is that I am glad that I saw the error of my ways and that Myriam was --well, Myriam. We are doing very well now. Working hard to keep our own yard green--without using shit to do it. Just TLC is all we need.

Ok--so recently, there was a motorcycle rally protesting helmet laws. One of the participants crashed and died. He would have lived had he been wearing a helmet. Natural selection? Yes, I believe so. Don't get me wrong--I don't think anyone should be forced to wear a helmet on a bike or even a seatbelt in a car. arresting or ticketing people for victimless crimes is really a waste of time--if people want to be stupid without hurting anyone else--just let them. Focus on the texting teens--they scare the hell out of me. 80% of my students admit to twi (texting while driving)--but hey--they wear their seat belts!! Ridiculous.

Here is another interesting story: Budget cuts are happening in Miami. Why you ask--well, the city has to lay people off because the "red light" cameras that catch people when they run a red light--only caught enough people to cover 1/5th of the projected number. In other words, because drivers in Miami are indeed following the traffic laws--they now have to lay people off.

The man that caught Derek Jeter's 3,000th hit ball gave it back to Derek Jeter. Some people say that was neat--I think it was stupid. Mr Garth--(he was my 4th and 5th grade social studies teacher, he reads my blog, and he LOVES baseball) what do you think? I'm dying to know.

Betty Ford was awesome. I'm so glad that she was able to live a long happy life after exposing and facing her demons. Goodspeed Betty.

Here is the playlist from my mix cd from my birthday bash. Several of them just went out in the mail--if anyone else likes the list and wants one--let me know. It's super awesome.


TJ’s 40th Birthday Bash and Skate Party Mix CD

CD 1—that’s right people—it’s a double CD
1.      Bea Arthur is the sexiest senior citizen ever—club mix of Golden Girls theme
2.      Bueller
3.      Green Giant
4.      First Mash-up of many!! Beyonce goes to Mayberry—WTF! Awesome
5.      Laverne and Shirley (TV show from the 70s) The () was for all those 20 somethings who probably do not even know the showJ Yikes.
6.      Mashup #2—what what? OZZY meets Pink meets Kelly Clarkson! Yep—triple white trash on one song.
7.      Lick a Lolly from 1975—what—that’s right—lick a lolly—just listen and laugh
8.      Happy Days—you know how I feel about the FONZ
9.      Mashup #3—who is it? Well, it’s UNK, Avril Lavigne, and Toni Basil—oh mickey you so fine….you so fine you blow my mind hey mickey.
10.   Silver Spoons REMIX—cool sitcom from 82-86 people.
11.   WOAH—I’m stuck in the 80s remix and medley
12.   Stay tuned—stay tuned for what?—oh the ABC Afterschool Special
13.   Mashup #4—wait for it…..The Jackson 5 and Guns and Roses. Oh Snap!
14.   LITEBRITE—need I say more
15.   Mashup #5—the 70s and 80s collide. Diana Ross and Dead or Alive—go ahead and tap your toes—it’s ok
16.   It’s the Bugs Bunny Looney Toon Comedy Hour!!!
17.   JUST SAY NO PEOPLE—Drugs and caffeine are evilJ
18.   It’s Fun to Smoke Marijuana. What? Oh—it’s Queen mashed up with a sermon on the evils of rock music.
19.   NEXT MASHUP= AWESOME. Notorious B.I.G. and Miley Cyrus.  Yes—you read it right. Hannah Montana meets Biggie Smalls.
20.   The Electric Company theme song from 1971—the year of my birth—we’re gonna turn on the power!!
21.   It’s the Muppet Show! Everyone Loves Kermit. Animal is my favorite.
22.   You’ll jump and jive—American Bandstand.
23.   Mashup-the 80s meet today—Jump you fu****! Cee Lo Green meets Van Halen
24.   Talent shows are for who? South Park. Need I say more?
25.   Oh Gary Coleman—we miss u. Diff’rent Strokes theme song.
26.   Mashup-Queen and David Bowie meet Taio Cruz—yeah I throw my hands up in the air sometimes—
27.   Bea Arthur shares a story—just sit back and enjoy it people.
28.   Mashup! The 80s meet the 90s. LL Cool J and Dexy’s Midnight Runners. What, knock out Eileen?
29.   Fresh Prince=nuf said
30.   Where is the best place ever? That’s right, Toys R Us.
31.   SUPERSTAR by one of my heroes, RuPaul.
32.   I’m a Loner Dottie with Prince playin in the background
33.   And then there’s Maude (Awesome show from the 70s) If you’ve never seen it, you should.
34.   My favorite song of all time—Forever Young
35.   No Whammy
36.   Who’s in charge? Oh, Charles is in charge. A short lived sitcom from the eighties
37.   Mashup—Aerosmith, Run DMC, and Nelly Furtado. It’s sweet.
38.   Mashup—the 80s meet today—Rihanna and Hall & Oates. Ha! Rude maneater
39.   Believe it or not, I’m walkin on air. The Greatest American Hero (sigh)
40.   Oh what’s your name? Oh, your name is LUKA and you live on the second floor. OK
41.   Theme from One Day at a Time. Schneider=a poor man’s fonzie.
42.   HEY HEY HEY it’s a Fat Albert Remix.




CD #2
1. Mashup—whoa Pitbull, The Ying Yang Twins and Kool and the Gang. Lord have mercy. We gonna have a good time tonight.
2. Though he never speaks—he has brought us joy for years. MEEP MEEP
3.   Come and knock on our door. Three’s Company rocks out
4.      Shut up and give me some cherry pie=WARRANT meets the Ying Yings.
5.      I love the way you lie REMIX and mashup—so many artists, so little time.
6.      The 70s and 80s meet again. Disco and Rock= Gloria Gaynor and Suvivor.
7.      Can the Beatles REALLY mashup with Lynard Skynard? Y yes they can. Full on mashup—just listen— you’ll love it. It’s my mix. Me=DJ No Clue
8.      ABBA and Lil Wayne Mashup? Yes. Can’t we all just get along?
9.      Oh you were saved. By What? Oh, the bell. Cool. AC or Zack?
10.      Double 80s people. Joan Jett meets the Beastie Boys. Life makes sense now.
11.      Soulja Boy and the Go Go’s? Can that be real? Yes it can. Next thing ya know there will be a black man as President.
12.      FAME—yes, I’m gonna live forever AND I’m gonna learn how to fly.
13.      Sesame Street. See, one of these things does not belong here, one of these things is not the same.
14.      Many mashups—tap your toes cuz it’s awesome
15.      Who’s the boss? Tony Danza is the boss.
16.      Best thing since sliced bread—just listen
17.      N.W.A. and Nirvana? Yeah, they had the marijuana thing in common. Smeels like it’s straight outa Compton.
18.      The age old question is asked again. What can you get a nudist for her birthday?
19.      He’s dead. Who’s dead? The radio star, and video killed it. Punk version.
20      I.s that Cory Feldman and the truffle shuffle? Yes it is.
21.      DEVO and Willow Smith. WTF. Oh—she whips her hair back n forth
22.      Salt n Pepa with the Yeah Yeah Yeahs. Yep, they pushed it. They pushed it real good.
23.      Can the smurfs really have a rave? Yes they can.
24.      So many white men in one room. Bon Jovi and Huey Lewis and the News. It’s 1988 all over again.
25.      You take the good you take the bad. The Facts of Life.
26.      Philosophy in the 80s
27.      The one and only Michael Jackson meets the one and only (also born on 7/1/71 just like me) Missy Elliot.
28.      I got Pacman fever and it’s driving me crazy.
29.      Ultra mashup
30.      The whitest song on here=Billy Joel meets Petula Clark. LOL
31.      Summer of 2009 mashup
32.      Don’t you forget about me.
33.      Hey. Thank you for being a friend. Seriously, thanks.

Ok--let's see--what else is going on? Oh--I have a show coming up and it's a big one. Save the date--August 24th. More info will be posted after I finalize the details with the promoters next week. If you do not live in So Cal and want to see it--you may order a dvd. All proceeds from the show are going to AMP lgbtqia. I'm going to blog again soon--seriously--soon. Never again will I let so much time pass between posts. In fact--my new goal is at least 3 per week. Tomorrow's blog will discuss books I have read over the summer, the movie Bridesmaids, a little more about my show, Kesha Hondo, and a few observations. Thanks for reading everyone. I've missed posting--comments help with motivation btw. TJ

Thursday, June 30, 2011

Twas the blog before middle age.......

Hey everyone. Yes, it is true; I will be 40 tomorrow. I'm really not sure what that is supposed to mean or how I am supposed to feel but it's here and there is nothing I can do about it. Truth be told, I'm excited about the next chapter in my life.

Age is a weird thing. These last few weeks I have been pondering what it means to be 40. Have I accomplished what I was "supposed" to?  Do I "look" 40? You know--I was just being all philosophical and such. The bottom line is--age ain't nothin but a number. Someone recently asked me how old I would be if I didn't know my age--my response was 8. I'm young at heart and I'm proud of everything that has brought me to this stage in my life.

To me, success can only be measured in one way. If one can answer yes to any of these questions, then he/she is successful. Do you like your life? Do you laugh a lot? Do you feel grateful? Do you have people that love you? Are you still learning? I am so lucky because I can actually answer yes to all of these questions. We all live different lives and choose different paths--success cannot be measured by jobs, finances, family, or fame. It's about character and having an open heart and mind. Though I have made many mistakes in my life, I still feel accomplished and am proud of the life that I have lived and the lessons I have learned thus far.

There were so many things I wanted to do before I turned 40--many of them I did not get around to doing. Oh well--if I am supposed to do them--I will eventually. I've done a number of things that I never thought I would or could--sometimes we think we have it all figured out but, God might have other plans. He sure did for me and for that I am grateful.

I am right where I am supposed to be at age 40. I've accomplished a lot but still have a lot of ground to cover. That's alright with me--I've always enjoyed adventures.
Here are some cool things that I did in my first 40 years:
learned to play an instrument, starred in a musical, made a varsity team, traveled the country, recorded a cd, got paid to eat in New York, performed at the laugh factory, won a comedy competition, earned graduate degrees, bought a home, found a partner that has loved me unconditionally for 13 years, met 3 Presidents, published some research, went to the academy awards, won awards for my teaching, lived in the mountains, etc etc etc.

In my next 40 years I hope to continue doing more of the same--I want to tell stories and hope to write and publish my memoirs. I want to keep teaching, keep cooking, keep laughing, and keep learning. That should be pretty easy. I'm so grateful for all of my family, friends, and fans. I'm also grateful for those I have met along the way--even the ones that didn't turn out to be so great--it doesn't matter--I consider myself to be pretty damn lucky.

That's it for today--I realize that it's not very funny or witty--but oh well--I felt like being philosophical for a change. Deal with it. Now that I am in my 40s--expect more wit, more snark, more sarcasm, and more brilliance. One love--thanks for reading. BTW--this was me at age 3--thought you'd all enjoy the pic.

Monday, June 20, 2011

Bolsa Chica with Theresa, Tracy Morgan, and RSVP people

It has been a super long time since my last blog. I didn't have the best week last week, but life is looking better, so I decided to finally get back to posting.

Two questions: How old would you be if you didn't know your age? Can anyone give me a quick lesson on Twitter--I want to tweet and get on bored with the whole twitter thing. I just do not get it.

I recently heard about these "worms from hell." Has anyone else heard of them? The name alone truly freaks me out. I guess there are these worms that live like a mile and a half under ground. I don't know much else about them because I didn't want to read any more information--just thought I'd bring it up. Myriam claims that there are some of them under the house.

Not too much is going on. I enjoy the summer vacation but, sometimes it gets lonely and boring. It's hard to stay motivated. I'd love to find a part time job but there is not much out there. I struggle with depression (which of course is different then sadness) so I've been just working on getting through each day. I will blog this week about depression--comedians and depression--and why the hell it is so difficult to understand, fight, and live with.

Last week I spent a day at Bolsa Chica Beach with my dear friend Theresa. It was WONDERFUL. Theresa and I have ben friends for like 16 years but haven't seen each other in awhile--reconnecting with her was super amazing--we kicked it in her RV, ate cheese, drank a lot of port, and played cards--seriously, it was one of the best days ever.

I have two weeks left of being in my thirties--I feel like I should be doing something like running a marathon or climbing some huge mountain or swimming with the dolphins. Those things all take up so much energy--I think I'll just stay in Long Beach, listen to records, and create some cool panini recipes.

I recently read the book ICE by Ice T. His life is very interesting and I loved his story. His new show Ice Loves Coco is really really good. I think they have a fascinating relationship. In the ten + years that they have been together--they have only spent one night apart. They also have a wonderful dog named Spartacus. I recommend the show to everyone.

Another show that I recently came across is Storage Wars. It's kind of funny--watching these grown ass macho men competing against one another for storage units that they know nothing about. The traits of masculinity and how they are executed by these men (who by the way are nothing special--just average "American" men) are quite an entertaining. I have shopped in three of the stores that they represent which makes it even cooler.

Ok--I want to talk for a minute about Tracy Morgan. First of all, I have NEVER liked him as a comedian. I think he is an idiot. In fact, I really tried to love 30 Rock but had to give it up--because he is such an idiot. His recent anti gay rant during a performance is, in my opinion, unforgivable. Myriam disagrees. She believes that nothing is off limits where comedy is concerned and thinks that the more taboo something is--the better it is to make fun of. I do not think jokes coming from a place of privilege are funny. I argue that those jokes add to stereotypes, promote racism, homophobia, and sexism, and are just an excuse for comedians to be assholes. I have looked at the recent Tracy Morgan issue from the perspective of an academic, a queer person, and a comedian--and--guess what--all conclusions were the same. Now he wants to work with GLAAD--he's just trying to save his pathetic career--I for one will never support him or anything he is a part of again. Myriam will probably attend his next show--Oh well, love is about balance people--we agree to disagree and that is ok.

My birthday party is in a few short weeks. I am really excited. However, many of you have "ignored" the invite. If you are reading this blog and have yet to RSVP to my party with a yes, no, or a maybe--please do so. It's very simple people. Waiting for over 200 of you so let's go.

Will be performing my one person show here in Long Beach at the end of August. More info with dates and location will be coming soon. Myriam and I will both be performing at an event of July 9th. Here is the info--I'll let you know what time we will be on as soon as I know. AMP LGBTQIA is an AMAZING organization so stop by if you can--but don't miss my skate party:)


Saturday, July 9 at 5:00pm - July 10 at 1:00am


Dipiazza Restaurant & Lava Lounge
5205 East Pacific Coast Highway
Long Beach, CA




This highly anticipated annual underground "pride" alternative event celebrates the queercore music scene, LBGTQIA artist and DIY crafters. Funds raised at CPRR support the AMP Organization's annual Queer Youth Scholarship fund to encourage young queer artists and musicians. Read more about the AMP Organization here: http://www.amporg.org/

Check out OC Weekly's write up on CPRR #4 here: http://bit.ly/mgnUYp

What: 4th Annual Cut&Paste Rock&Roll queer music & DIY art festival
When: July 9th 5pm-1am
Where: Long Beach!
Who: Rockers, Rollers, Queers and friends


Not too much else is going on right now. Myriam is officially done teaching (and unemployed thanks to Arnold.) Looking forward to a super fun and super cheap summer. Have a great day everyone and thanks for reading. Comments are really appreciated.

Thursday, June 2, 2011

Moshe, Things that do not belong on pizza, bullies, and books

Hey everyone. The week has gotten away from me again. I cannot believe that it is almost Friday. It's been a great first week of vacation.

Ok--today's post is for my beautiful nephew Moshe. Moshe is a little over 4 months old and he is wonderful. He has one of the most amazing smiles that I have ever seen. He is pictured above in case you couldn't figure that out. I have gotten to skype with Moshe but have yet to meet him. Hopefully that will happen soon. He lives in Brooklyn and I love him very much.

Sun dried tomatoes DO NOT belong on pizza. I really do not understand "fancy" pizzas. Here is a list of other items that should not be allowed on pizza:
any seafood, chicken, snow peas, corn, broccoli, tofu, curry, bbq sauce, smoked gouda, chorizo, hearts of palm, seeds of any kind, and nuts

Will be performing my one person show in August and September. Found promoters and it's going to be super awesome. I will keep you all posted.

The battle in my home today was helium balloons vs ceiling fan. It was a great fight but ended in a tie.

Best mash up name for a celebrity couple= DiLively (Blake Lively and Leo DiCaprio)

The man that Jennifer Aniston is dating looks scary.

Most people do not know that Katy Perry used to be a Christian singer. Her mother is an evangelical minister who is very upset with her daughter's decision to be "worldly."

I have sent out the online invite to my birthday party. I'm really excited--it's gonna be a blast. I've rented out the whole roller rink and snack bar. That's always been a dream of mine so i'm glad it's coming true. I'm looking for suggestions for songs for the mix cd. What songs remind you of me? Come on--you know you want to contribute to the mix cd. I'll be wearing my new bow tie to the event.

Got my haircut today just like Demetri Martins. It looks good if I do say so myself.

The other day I saw two boys picking on another young boy. I pulled my car over, got out, and told them to stop picking on the boy. They seemed annoyed and one even said the infamous words "you're not my mom." I tried to remain calm telling them that it was not ok to pick on people and asked them how they would feel if someone treated them that way. Their response was--people always pick on us--then they started to cry. So there I was, with three young boys who were all crying, and I had no idea what to do. I chatted with them for a while, and long story short--it all ended well. The mother of the youngest boy came out, thanked me, and invited the other boys in for ice cream. Maybe they will all be friends now--I hope so. I know the story sounds like a John Waters movie on the Hallmark Channel but that's ok. If you ever see someone being bullied--you must try to stop it. There is nothing special about what I did--it just seemed like the right thing to do. No one deserves to be tormented. Stop the hate before it's too late.  "Those who stand for nothing fall for anything." Alexander Hamilton


So far I love East of Eden. The book Heat is highly overrated. Sidhartha by Hesse is brilliant. I'm enjoying this week of reading. Now my friend Jamie needs to catch up on East of Eden. We are a two person book club and one of us is behind:) She left today for a whole month. Have fun in Michigan JW. See you when I'm 40:)

This weekend is going to be fun. Roller Derby, birdwatching, a birthday party, and probably a whole bunch of other cool things.

Ok that's it for today. Thanks for reading. Comments are awesome. One love.

"Live in a way where you would not be ashamed to sell your parrot to the town gossip." Will Rogers

 "We have enough youth. What we need is a fountain of smart."

Monday, May 30, 2011

Umami, books, and no thumbprint=no money

Happy Memorial Day weekend everyone. It seems like forever since I last blogged. I guess the time just got away from me. School is officially over. Grades are posted, everything is done, and I couldn't be happier. I am so looking forward to a fun summer with Myriam. Seriously, I have a feeling that the next few months will be HUGE for us. If all goes as planned, I will be performing a show in Long Beach, somewhere in the O.C., somewhere in L.A., and in the Bay area--what's up NORCAL? I will keep you all posted. This is a one person show so I won't even have to share the stage.

Plans for my birthday party are coming along slowly. It'll happen for sure--it's just taking longer than I thought it would to get organized.

My mother is out of the hospital!! YAY. She is doing very well and is appreciative for all of the thoughts, prayers, and well wishes.

Ok--Since my last post--3 amazing and brilliant people have passed on to the next life. Gil Scott-Heron, Randy "Macho Man" Savage, and Jeff Conaway.  They will all be missed. They each brought something different to the "potluck" of life, and I appreciated their contributions. One made us laugh, one brought us to the edge of our seats, and one made us think. I am grateful for who they were.

Storm chasers are really stupid people. I mean really stupid. Why oh why would anyone choose to chase after a tornado?

Kim Kardashion is a baby. No one needs a 20.5 carat diamond ring. Any respect that I had for her (which was very little) is gone. It's a disgusting display and I think it should be outlawed. I have no good reason--it just makes my stomach turn.

I am currently reading several books. Sometimes it is hard for me to choose so I just read whatever I'm in the mood for. Last week I had soooo many moods-- so now I am reading: Heat: A Kitchen Memoir (it's ok), East of Eden (reading it with my friend JW), Siddhartha by Herman Hesse, Columbine by Dave Cullen, and Ice-A memoir of Ice T (the rapper/actor not the drink). What can I say--it's an ambitious week.

Myriam saw The Hangover II today with her family. She loved it. I think I'll wait for the DVD.

The new Lady Gaga cd is great. I highly recommend it to everyone. Yes, even you Blaine--it's good music. Madonna is soooooo yesterday--it's time to move on to a new freaky blonde. LOL

The new Betty White book is brilliant. You should all check it out. Betty White is 89 years old. Her take on life is pretty fricking amazing. I laughed a lot when I read it.

Last weekend Myriam and I ate at Umami Burger in L.A. The burger was voted best in America but, I beg to differ. Though the burgers were delicious, they lacked personality. The chefs were so liberal with the truffle oil--that I could hardly taste anything else. One or two drops is sufficient people--please do not douse the bun in it. The burgers were about $15 each which did NOT include a side item so, we ordered fries and onion rings. Again with the truffle oil. OY. The burgers on the menu were interesting but you were not allowed to deviate from the recipes. In other words--you couldn't say no sun dried tomatoes. I think that is ridiculous. People know what they like--they should be willing to get what they want and leave what they do not. 7.8/10 is my rating--a strong C+. Oh--and they do not even have mushrooms--what kind of burger place does not offer mushrooms? For a $50 lunch--I expected a lot more of an experience. Oh well.

Went to Barneys today. Myriam bought a new hat. I got some jeans and a bow tie. I'm really really excited about the bow tie. I've wanted one for a very long time. Now I need an occasion to wear it.

There is a man that has eaten over 25,000 Big Macs. He is healthy. I think that is pretty awesome.

This is a true story: A man with no arms went into a bank to cash a check. Even though he had two forms of i.d. the bank still would not give him the money. The reason: he could not produce a thumbprint. Are people really that stupid?

There is a strong chance that I will be married before I turn 40.
Myriam and I are going birdwatching next weekend.

Not much else to talk about today. Tomorrow's blog will discuss my role models, my non role models, and what I would do if I had no fears.

Thanks for reading. Comments are awesome. One love.

Sunday, May 22, 2011

22 years, Trina vs TJ, update on my mom, a great book

Hello everyone. Hope that your weekend has been lovely. The weather here has been great. I have two more days of teaching left, then, I am done. Looking forward to 12 weeks of vacation.

I'll start with an update on my mom. She went in on Thursday for a minor procedure on her heart. Well, the Dr. slipped or something and cut a hole where he shouldn't have. She was in intensive care for one night, showed a lot of improvement, then moved to the normal care wing. We expected her to come home yesterday however, tests showed blood on the lungs as well as a blood clot. Last I heard, the Dr was doing something to prevent the clot from moving. We are all very concerned about these recent events, yet hopeful for a full recovery. I talked to my mother this afternoon and she is about the same. I ask that you all keep my mother (and father for that matter) in your thoughts and prayers. I am fortunate to have friends of all faiths--so I really feel that all of our bases will be covered. Whether you are praying to God, Mohammad, Mother Earth, Buddha, Jesus, Saints, Angels, The Dali Lama, or any other higher power--make sure to mention my family. I will keep you all posted. Thanks so much.

Ok-so yesterday was the 22nd anniversary of my high school graduation. I remember it well. I thought I'd look at how I have either changed or stayed the same since then. Fun Fun. First--just in case you don't know about the town I grew up in--here it is in a nutshell. I grew up in New Hartford, Iowa population 650. Yes, that says 650. My graduating class consisted on 23 people--20 of which I saw at the 20 year high school reunion. My town was and still is 99.99% white. The school that I attended was K-12--in other words, we all grew up together, looked the same, and knew each other well. I would consider Jamee Maurer Klein and Mary Huff honorary members of the class because they were with us except for the last year. Ok-here is the list:

Things about me that haven't changed since 1989
1. I still love Bon Jovi, Def Leppard, and pretty much all other music from that era. Michael Jackson!
2. I'm still optimistic about my future
3. I still love to roller skate!!
4. I still think the Big Mac is amazing
5. I still don't need the math I learned in school
6. I still drive a mustang and think it's a sweet car.
7. I still talk to Devona Neiman almost everyday (facebook)
8. I still love being on stage
9. I still want to be a comedian
10. I still am not a morning person
11. I still think that the show "Roseanne" is the greatest sitcom ever.  (Modern Family is a close second)
12. I still don't appreciate "classic" literature like I am supposed to.
13. I still love to watch people breakdance
14. I am still afraid of snakes
15. I still have about the same amount in my savings account--which is next to nothing
16. I still think metal lunchboxes are awesome
17. I still use the word awesome
18. I am still not a parent
19. I still have all of my papers in unorganized piles
20. I still just "wing it" most of the time
21. My Cousin Jackie is still one of my closest friends
22. I still love John Hughes movies

Things about me that have changed since 1989
1. I can no longer run a mile in under 6 minutes
2. I no longer wear acid washed jeans--or a size 3 for that matter
3. I am now "out" and proud
4. I no longer fear authority--not at all!
5. I no longer strive to impress others
6. I now have to drink diet soda.
7. I now call pop soda
8. I now have neighbors who are not white
9. I am no longer interested in camping or kayaking
10. I no longer wear feminine clothes
11. I no longer try to fit in
12. I now actually read books instead of just pretending to
13. I  now think office supplies and socks are great Christmas gifts
14. I weigh about 45lbs more-yikes
15. I am now a Buddhist
16. I am now much more politically aware
17. I am now well traveled and well educated
18. I am now afraid of flying
19. I no longer own a walkman or a VCR
20. My hair is no longer huge--and neither are my glasses for that matter
21. I no longer drink alcohol.
22. I no longer shave my legs

I can probably think of a million more but that's it for now. Ok, so my given name is Trina but my friends all know me as TJ--well, most of my friends do. Here's how it works. Everyone that has known me for more than 20 years calls me Trina. All of my family members (even those under age 20) call me Trina. People that met me after 1992 call me TJ. All of my students call me TJ--except a few ESL students that cannot say their Js. They call me professor Trina which I love. Some people are two-timers, meaning that they call me TJ sometimes but Trina other times. My cousin Janelle calls me little T. I love that. I'm sure that most of you couldn't care less about this--just thought I'd share. TJ stands for Trina Jo BTW. Mt friend Jamie calls me Teej. I'm sure I've been called a lot of other names, both good and bad, but I just wanted to focus on TJ and Trina.

Just finished the book I'm Perfect and You're Doomed which is a memoir about a girl's upbringing in the Jehovahs Witness religion. The book was awesome. I recommend it to anyone with a good sense of humor. The author had very dry wit and seemed like she was a lot to handle as a teen. She's wicked smart yet whiny and her story made me laugh a lot. I am currently working on my memoir. Anybody got any title ideas?

Ok-that's it for today. Thanks for reading everyone. Comments are awesome. One love.

Friday, May 20, 2011

Recap, the Sperminator, and Guavas in the sky

I guess blogger is back up so I thought I'd post. Unfortunately, my post from last week was removed when they did maintenance so here is a recap in case you didn't get to read that one:
I got to meet Dimitri Martin (see facebook profile pic)

Myriam had a birthday. It was super fun. She is 34 now.
Myriam lost her job:( Thanks Arnold for f***ing up Cali's budget.

I think the "It gets better" campaign should be changed to the "Let's make it better" campaign. See, it doesn't get better--grown ups are also big ol bullies. More than half of the country is still against gay rights.

Gay "pride" needs to be FREE. It needs to be accessible to ALL people. Booze and sex is not pride--it's a party--and a bad one at that.

My Chapman students threw me a party--they rock.

It costs 100,000 just to have your wedding at the Huntington Botanical Gardens.

I am now a level 1 Reiki healer. If you do not know what Reiki is, you should look it up.

My mom sent me a care package. I love her a lot.

Ok--now that you are all up to speed--here is my latest post:

Two schools down and one to go!! I am very excited for next week to be over so I can begin my summer vacation.  The end of the semester is very bittersweet. I am SOOO ready for a break but, I will miss all of my students very much. I really had a good batch this semester--they were all very hardworking--well, let me take that back--they were just a good batch--a good mix of diligence, entertainment, brilliance, support, and sheer joy. Seriously. Thanks kittens for making this semester awesome for me.

What else is going on? Myriam and I are on a mission to have the funnest yet cheapest summer ever. Yesterday my students helped me make a list of free things to do. Let's just say that there are enough items on the list to keep us busy all summer long. I'm very excited about that.

Myriam and I have a guava tree in our yard. Sometimes I would come home from school and I would hear someone yell--"Hello." I'd look up and our next door neighbor would be sitting in the tree like it was the most normal thing in the world. He would always say...enyoying (yes, it says enyoying) the fruit and the weather. I honestly think those were the only words he knew in English. I'm certain that his family taught him those words so he could communicate with me why he was in my tree. Anyways--it was fine. We loved him and I was happy to see someone "enyoying" the fruit. Well, he died recently and I miss him. He was a gentle, kind, and loving man. Even though we did not speak the same language--his energy still made an impact on my life. He looked like he was maybe 70 or 75 years old and he died in his sleep. I'm certain that he is somewhere where there are many quava trees. RIP Sanchez. "Enyoy" the afterlife.

Ok-new topic. Arnold Schwarzenegger is an idiot. He is a dishonest repulsive man with no integrity at all. To fu** up the lives of his family (I love Maria Schriver) is bad enough--but he also fu**ed up California. He lied to us all. He was against gay marriage--telling me that I would hurt the moral fiber of CALIFORNIA (say it in the Arnold voice). What a joke. His lack of integrity and his narcissistic attitude have caused a lot of trouble for Californians. Tuition is so high that many students can no longer afford an education, important programs have been cut, and hundreds and hundreds of teachers (including Myriam) have lost their jobs. I never really liked him--but now he is on my list of my most despised and wicked people that hold WAY to much power, have WAY to much money, and need to keep their pants ZIPPED.

I simply cannot believe that Zsa Zsa Gabor is still alive. She is quite a fighter.

Cher is 65 years old. I do not quite know how I feel about that--it's just weird. Time really does go by super fast.

The movie Bridesmaids was amazing. Myriam believes that this film will be revolutionary. Finally we get to see REAL women who are REALLY funny dealing with REAL things. YAY!!! Even straight men will laugh. Well done indeed. I think Maya Rudolph is beautiful.

Ok--I think that is enough for today. I find that if the blog posts are too long--people do not read the whole thing. I may blog again later tonight but for now--that's it. Love you all. Comments are awesome. Oh--and if you want to leave a comment and get credit for it--just sign your name at the end. Duh!!